Hey guys, welcome to Science class! This where we do all kinds of fun things and experiments and learn about fun stuff! Oh, and BIG message to everyone: whatever the hell science says about God not being real and us evolving from apes, that is so friggin' stupid and not true. God made us as whole humans. AND HE IS REAL! End of story! Okay, continuing. Today class, before we start, I want to introduce a new student. I know you're probably wondering: why is the teacher bringing in so many students every single day? Well, answer to that is, lots of students heard of SHOW YOUR FOOT TO THE WORLD and wanted to participate, unlike you guys who have no respect for the school I put so much work into. Anyways, she is a transfer student from Cuba and I introduce Camila Cabello!
Oh wow, Camila! You seem excited for the class! Probably because it's your first day, I would also be excited if I was a student too. But after all the horrible treatment and disrespect you get from these hooligans you wouldn't really call this place a sanctua------ WHAT THE HELL?!
ENRIQUE MIGUEL IGLESIAS PREYSLER! WHAT IN THE WORLD DO YOU THINK YOU ARE DOING, YOUNG MAN?! So sorry about my unstoppable temper tantrums, I can't stop them from happening, they just do. But you guys simply don't understand, I am getting a heart attack here! My blood pressure is going up! Oh GOD! Somebody get me something deep fried and smothered in chocolate! RIGHT NOOOOOOOOOOOW!!!!!!!!!
(BITE!) Mmmmm, (munch, munch) aw yeah, that's the spirit! (swallowing) Okay, okay. My heart is on the correct speed now. Enrique, okay, can I talk to you for a minute? This is serious. You can't be always going after every female student I bring into the school. You're always hitting on every girl that I bring here. It's annoying and stupid and low and---- RAGING MALE HORMONES! JUST STAP IT! (Munch, munch) Don't do that. I hate it and I'm pretty sure Camila is creeped out too. Right, Camila? Right?
See? She's SEVERELY creeped out by you. No one does that. No one does what you did just now. Staring down a person's body. It's just gross and disgusting and only a low-life hobo would do that, and you're not a hobo, Enrique, are you? No. No you're NOT. Now let's get moving with the class! Ugh, honestly. I hate how my classes always get interrupted by bullshit like this.
Okay, so, the first thing I want to talk about is Biology, which is a branch of science. It's my favorite part. Don't worry, we'll get to the blasting volcano and firework experiments soon, just be patient. Anyway, there is something called the Food Chain or also known as the Food Web. Can someone tell me what the Food Chain is?
Yes, that is correct, Eleven. The Food Chain is the a hierarchical series of organisms each dependent on the next as a source of food. A simple example of this is for instance: we have the sun, which the plant uses its sunshine rays to grow, the plant-eaters or more commonly known as herbivores, eat these plants and collect that energy from the plant, then the carnivores (the meat-eaters) eat the herbivores and finally collect the energy from them. Here's a diagram of it so you guys can see:
See? Well, there is a hawk added in there but it doesn't matter, sometimes there's more than one carnivore involved in the sequence. Now, what do we call the system where all these amazing organisms live? We have the atmosphere, the cryosphere, the hydrosphere, the lithosphere, geosphere, exosphere, and the biosphere. Which one is it?
Well, you're writing all of this down, aren't you? Yes, that is so good. Because we'll be having a big test soon and you guys need to know this stuff. And for some reason, it seems like Eleven is the only one who is actually paying attention and taking notes
WHY ARE YOU DRINKING WHEN YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO BE PAYING ATTENTION, HARRY?! Ugh, God. Put that damn cup down right now and start taking notes you ass! Honestly. . . Anyway, where was I? Oh yeah, which of Earth's spheres is the one that belongs to all living life?
Nice! Yes, it is the Biosphere. OH MY GOD, WOULD YOU LOOK AT THE TIME?! I've gotta go. So sorry, guys. I have a meeting today, I need to leave. We'll finish tomorrow. Class over! Oh, and something for you guys to do as homework. I expect everyone to do a report on the Biosphere and the Food Chain, and MAKE A DIAGRAM OF IT! IF YOU GUYS DON'T DO IT (and I know Eleven will do it) I'LL TAKE AWAY YOUR LUNCH FOR A WEEK!
OKAY, OKAY! GUYS, I DIDN'T MEAN IT! And Camila, I would never put down a punishment like that on you. I mean, come on, seriously. You're a GOOD kid. I meant people like Harry and Ron and all the boys because they're so damn lazy they never get any of their homework done, and when I say that, I MEAN it. Okay, bye! CLASS OVER!
A fun blog for all to read! Note: This is a parody blog. No copyright infringement intended. All rights belong to their respective owners. This is all just for fun!
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