Thursday, October 26, 2017

Class time!

Hellooooo, guys. And WELCOME BACK TO SHOW YOUR FOOT TO THE WORLD! Today we will be moving on in our magical class and learning about even more cooler things. But before we do, there are a couple of too-long-to-mention-how-they-are-related-to-me relatives coming over to join SHOW YOUR FOOT TO THE WORLD, and a new assistant. What? You're asking why this school keeps getting so many new assistants? WELL MAYBE BECAUSE I WANT MORE PEOPLE AROUND ME SO THEY CAN BRING ME HOT TASTY FOOD YOU DUMB-AS-HELL ASSHOLE! Sorry, again, it's my high blood pressure. SHUP, SHUP! So, I introduce you my--- well, my relative, Wonder Woman!
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Isn't she just dainty? Oh, and she's telling us right now that she prefers to be called Diana. Wonder Woman is just her stage name. Also, did you know her full name is Diana-Gal Gadot? It's a funny name. Also, don't tell her this, but remember my French friend Julien who runs that amazingly accurate informational blog called juliensfunnyblog.blogspot.com? He likes her and has a teeny-meeny meak tiny weak obsession with her and takes pictures of her without her knowing and put a tiny microscopic camera in her shower head and watches through the window when she is changing. So don't get alarmed, it's all fine. He can't be any worse than Enrique, am I right, my friends? Okay, continuing! And this is James, her boyfriend who is also coming here to learn. He doesn't like to be called James, he prefers Kirk, so call him Kirk. Meet Kirk!
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Ugh, he's an uggo. No wonder Julien doesn't like him. Oh no, I think it's because of the other reason that has to do with Dia---- YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!! I DID NOT JUST SAY THAT! But anyways, that's him and he seems to be looking at my FOOOOOOOOOOOOD!!!!!!!! DO NOT EAT, STAY AWAY STUPID-AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAASS!!!!!!!!!!! Okay, and the new assistant is here!
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Look, he's saying hello and his name is Wilbur but he prefers the nickname Coo. I know what you are thinking: why is everyone wanting to be called a different name? Well SHUT UP! Because I don't have the freaking answer to that. Oh, look, Muspelheim is coming in.

Oh no, Muspelheim. You got it confused. We're not doing Potions today. We're doing Beasts, you should take the book out.
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No, NO! Coo you totally CANNOT be with Muspelheim, she has a boyfriend waiting for her back in Bolivia. You can't possibly like her, she's not even in your league, don't you DARE get near her you kleptomaniac! You don't deserve her! She's above you and you're just some disgusting loathsome fool that works as a low assistant! I swear to God, if you even try to----
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HE TURNED OFF THE LIGHT! OH NO! NOW I CAN'T SEE! HE'S GONNA GO AFTER MUSPELHEIM! SOMEONE STOP HIM! I CAN'T SEE, I CAN'T--- CRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAASH!!!!!!!!!!!!! OW! I CAN'T GET UP! I FELL INTO SOMETHING! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!! HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEELP!!!!!!!!!!!! YOU FRIGGING TURN THE LIGHT BACK ON YOU STUPID BASTARD! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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FINALLY! The light is back on. And YES, you ARE crazy. And stop annoying my assistant, Lewis. He had nothing to do with this awful disaster of yours! Now, leave Muspelheim alone and start doing your job you godforsaken fat mole! Start passing around the books! Jesus was doing gymnastics and flipping and crashed into Isaiah and gave him a concussion! Okay, so let's start class. Last time we learned about Grindylows and Merpeople, which didn't exactly turn out too well. Today we will move on to learning about Werewolves and Unicorns. So Werewolf is the title of the legendary creature that howls at midnight when the full moon comes up on Halloween night. Can anyone tell me what the name Werewolf means?         
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Very good, Hermione. Werewolf means half-man half-wolf. 'Were' actually means half-man, I think. And Werewolves are very scary and dangerous you know. They attack you if threatened, and even if not they will. I actually have one locked up in my forbidden wardrobe that I never open, along with my Boggart, which we will get to later. And what happens to the werewolf's mind when it transforms?

Yes, that's right, Muspelheim. The werewolf loses its mind and all memory of who it was before, and it might even kill his best friend. What are pointing at there? Oh, a picture of a werewolf? Oh let's see it then!
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Nice picture! Wait, you say it's not a picture but an actual photograph you took of a werewolf when you were on an expedition to through the Dark Mountains and you managed to catch a photo before it jumped at you and tackled you to the ground? And you survived all that? WOW! I never knew that, Muspelheim. You're an amazing brave courageous person! I could NEVER do that in my life. If I went and tried to release my unstable pet werewolf from its prison right now, it would instantly maul at me faster than you could say "banana split sundae with fudge dripping down the sides and strawberries on top" and I would slump to the floor dead. Oh God, why do I have to say these kinds of things? Now I'm hungry!

What? You say you had to run ten miles and it wouldn't stop chasing you until you got to a cliff and you had no other choice but to jump off and you tried to use your flying skills but you fell and your boyfriend Leonard who already got down before you caught you and then you guys rode off in your van? Wowy-wow-wow, that is cooler than COOL! Someone get me that banana split sundae I mentioned earlier, NOW! I gotta calm my nerves, this story was so NERVE-WRACKING! GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Hurry up, you stupid! We haven't got all day, I have a stupid-ass meeting to attend after this and even though I don't wanna get up from my fat lazy anus to go, I HAVE to. SO HURRY UP! BRING ME MY FOOD, YOU SCHMUCK!
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No thanks to you, you despicable dumb-ass cretin! GET OUT! I HATE YOU! Okay, he's gone. Honestly, the idea. Why are all these waiters so freaking damn slow? Well anyways, that was so amazing, Muspelheim. Right, guys?
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Yeah, we GOT it, Coo. Muspelheim is your dream angel babe, but does it look like I care? NO! So shut up and get back to work, you crazy cuckoo imbecile! So, anyway, Werewolves also have other dangerous things about them. They are usually very large and can tower over for even more than 15 feet tall. They also have many sharp rows of razor sharp teeth and fangs that will crush your bones to dust the SECOND it gets a hold of you! And it makes a sound just like this: CHOMP! And then it howls to the full moon, AWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO-------- 
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AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!! (COUGH! COUGH!) WHAT THE--- (COUGH, COUGH!) ANOTHER EXPLOSION?! HOW MANY TIMES IS SHOW YOUR FOOT TO THE WORLD GONNA BE HARASSED BY A HUGE FIRE EXPLOSION AND THEN LET ME GUESS! SOMEONE UNKNOWN IS GONNA WALK RIGHT OUT OF IT! GARRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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What the--- who is that hiding in the fire? They made this explosion themselves? Oh no, is it what I think it is? Do they have fire powers?
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Yue, are you okay? What? What did you say? What are you trying to tell me? You say you have a warning for me?
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Who is that? WHO IS THAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT????????????????!!!!!!!!!!!! THIS MEANS A WHOLE CAKE FOR ME! DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!! What? You think I was kidding? I literally mean it. GET ME A CAKE! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! While you're at it, let me do my usual interrogating. WHO ARE YOU AND WHERE HAVE YOU COME FROM?!
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First of all, that's not me there like always. Second, you're telling me that THAT right there is the person you and Katara, Sokka, and Aang all warned me about? HE'S the big threat? AHAHA! AHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'm crying! HAH! Wait, you're serious? Oh no, then who is he here for?
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Wait, no, NOT MUSPELHEIM! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! NOT HER, PLEASE, NO, I BEG YOU GOD, NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! HELP, HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEELP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Diana, this is NOT the right time! This person is an impostor, also he tells me his name is Prince Zuko of the Fire Nation world and he is here to kidnap Muspelheim and force her to become his eternal bride. BUT I WON'T LET HIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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SOMEONE! GET HIM BEFORE HE TAKES MUSPELHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEIM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! EVERYBODY EVACUAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAATE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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WHAT?! THE EVACUATION ELEVATOR ISN'T WORKIIIIIIIIIIIIIING??????????!!!!!!!!!!! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Good idea, Ariana. Call someone using the microphone! GIVE ME THAT THIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! HELP, HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEELP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Image result for running gif

JACK, WAIT, NO, DON'T DO THAT! HE'S AN UNSTABLE FREAK, HE WILL KILL YOOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! RUN INTO THE SANCTUARY ROOM! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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ALRIGHT, ALRIGHT! NOW CLOSE THE DAMN DOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORS!!!!!!!!!!!! Phewgh! That was close. Wait a crap, where is Muspelheim? OH NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WE LEFT HER OUT THEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEERE!!!!!!!!!!! BUT I CAN'T GET OUT, I CAN'T! SOMEONE CALL 91111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111!!!!!!!!!!!! I mean 911. That's what I meant. OKAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


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