Whoa, whoa, slow down, Gretchen! It's okay if assistants are late, well not ALL assistants. You and your sister Jennifer are the rare exceptions, but not those disgusting other ugly low crap-filled freaks who take a century to get their ass over here. But anyways, bring in a couple of assistants, including your sister. We'll need about 5, considering the kind of class I have in mind right now. OKAY! Is everyone here?
Okay, Jennifer is here too. 3 more assistants, please!
Oh Lilith, come ON. Did you seriously have to take a shower now? Right before class? I need your help here. God! Honestly.
Oh yeah, and guys, here is a new assistant who will be helping us today. Her name is Zelena and she is Regina's sister, she is very nice and she is going to be helping out today. And last but not least, Ramona.
She is not a student, she came here to help if you guys remember. Anyways, so let's start talking about the most important subject: Feet.
Um, hello? That's what SHOW YOUR FOOT TO THE WORLD is all about, ain't it? God, you know, I'm not gonna bother with you Ariana, you came here WAY after this school was created. So sorry for disturbing you. So, does anyone know the major components of showing your foot to the world?
Yes, that is correct, Hermione. To be worthy to show your feet to the world, you have to have these major components that will help you boost it up: bravery, courage, pride, ambition, passion, and most of all, love your feet and be happy with them. I know these are a lot of things to remember, but they're good for you so it's very easy to show your foot to the world. People love brave and courageous people who are willing to show off their feet. Peter here can demonstrate that.
Eleven, zip it! I decide what goes on here because I'm the freaking goddamn teacher! Stop screaming and crying about how you don't want him to demonstrate. And for this extremely negative behavior and disrespect towards me and Peter, you're going to have to be the person in the demonstration who is pretending to be bias against showing your feet to the world and Peter is gonna shove his feet into your face, his bare feet.
YES! PETER, DO IT! DEMONSTRATE SHOWING YOUR FOOT TO THE WORLD! GO!
YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAS!!!!!!!!! SHOW YOUR FOOT TO THE WORLD, PETER! YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAS!!!!!!!!!!!!
ELEVEN! WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?! YOU SHOULD BE PROUD OF PETER, YOU STUPID SELFISH PIECE OF BUXOM CRAP! Whoops, didn't mean to include that last bit there. But anyway, I'm glad you got what you deserved. You've gone from a smart, intelligent, clever bookworm who always answers all the questions to a mean, low, kind of girl who is so rude and cruel to Peter. I hope you're hurt. HAH! I love hurting my students! Okay, next question. Why is it so important to show your feet to the world?
Yes Wendy, that's right. It is extremely important to show your feet to the world so then you can show people that you are not afraid. That you are strong and motivated and powerful and nothing brings you down. Especially to show those haters out there that you have a powerful weapon, your heart. And its most trustworthy sidekick, the foot. So Ariana, now do you understand why feet are so importa----
Okay, that's the last time I want to see you in that costume, you hear me, young lady? Go put on a shirt over that RIGHT now.
Good. And don't give me that smug, low, ghetto attitude just because I did. All I'm trying to do is protect you from the guys that roam this place. You know your huge bra size. Why deny my protection? I can't even begin to understand why you don't understand that. Okay, assistants, can you please help me get the 'chair' out of the closet, please? And the stool for it as well.
Okay, thanks for taking it out. Oh, you're asking why we need this chair and what the straps are for? Well, it's back after all these years of not using it. Say hello to the 'chair'. It's good to see you again, 'chair'.
Yeah, we're bringing in the stool. Okay, everybody line up! We're gonna pick somebody!
Oh look at Kili, he's afraid it's gonna be him.
Yes Clara, you're correct. We are going to demonstrate an example of what happens when you have to go through a tickle torture because people hate your pride of showing your feet to the world so much. Who wants to volunteer as the tickled one?
Jackson, don't you DARE give me that stupid mean despicable eyeroll! Plus that is not me there next to him, guys. Jackson, this is the most important part of the WHOLE thing. If you guys won't answer me, I will have to decide myself. Robin Hood, YOU are going to be the tickled one.
DON'T YOU DARE TRY TO RUN AWAY YOU STUPID ASSHOLE! ASSISTANTS, GET HIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Yes, I know it's sad for Robin that you caught him, but it's too late and he cannot escape the Call of the Tickle. Heh! Get it? Call of the Tickle? Call of the Wild? I guess you don't! STUPID!
No I am NOT letting him go, Stephanie! Oh and guys, that's not me there either. BRING ON THE TICKLE!
Oh and guys, I painted Robin's nails to humiliate him. Good job on tickling those soles! Keep tickling those soft, sensitive, wiggly, helpless, toes that taste like, lemme take a slurp there--- SLUUURP! Mmmmm, apricot filled with embarrassment sweat. UGH! Actually, IT TASTES LIKE A HORRIBLE PATECA DOT! DON'T ASK! SOMEONE GET ME A S'MORES MILKSHAKE BEFORE I DIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Thank you. That made me digest all that disgusting crap down there. Okay, so now while Robin is suffering a terrifying tickle torture abuse cruelty treatment, I want you kids to know that this is life, and life is not fair if you do not battle it. This is an example of what happens if you are not optimistic enough or courageous enough to SHOW YOUR FOOT TO THE WORLD, and people take advantage of your weakness and tie you down and give you an abuse tickle like this. SHOW YOUR FOOT TO THE WORLD is entitled to helping students build immunity against being tickled so enemies they face in life can't use that as a weakness against them. Understand now, kids? Robin, let me give you a break, only a 20-second break. I'm counting it down. And while I'm counting, Regina is here to take her turn on you. Hey, where's Robin's sock?
Oopsy-daisy, DAH! That happened. So, Robin, are you ready? Cause I'm counting: 10, 9, 1. . .
WELL NOT FOR YOU! HAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAA! GIVE 'IM A TASTE OF YOUR OWN DEFINITION OF THE WORD TICKLE, REGINA! GO AHEAD, DO IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Now I painted his nails aqua, how pretty is that? I see you can't take it, but I'm not gonna let you go.
No, Stephanie. I am NOT letting you go save Robin from cruel punishment! I painted his toenails red now, can't you see that right in front of you? In fact, to make sure you don't try to rescue him from his monster tickling abyss, I am gonna order a certain somebodies to capture you and force you to be with them! FERNANDO AND POPKOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Oh no, you slapped the wrong person, you were supposed to slap Stephanie and kiss her, Fernando. Oh yeah, and Popko, where the hell is THAT guy?
Oh there he is, and oh my Lanta, is Jackson kissing my father's step-grandpa's son's daughter's sister's niece's friend's mom's aunt's daughter's neighbor's half-daughter's niece Lola? Well, well, I say love is in the air here, people! HAH! Popko, do your job. CAPTURE STEPHANIE, YAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
What did you say? You want to kill Popko?
HOW DARE YOU SLAP POPKO, STEPHANIE?! FOR THIS I AM GONNA HAVE TO FORCE YOU TO BUNK WITH THEM AND YOU CAN NEVER GET YOUR OLD BED BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACK!!!!!!!!! Phewgh! I hate yelling like that, it makes me so tired. Now I want a Tiramisu milkshake. HURRY! I NEED IT! BEFORE I EXPLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOODE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Mmmm, yummy. Thanks again, I mean NO! Not thanks to YOU! STUPID-ASS! HAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! OKAY! Back to class. Robin is still under his terror tickle treatment, I see. I'm too lazy to stop it, someone else do it. Oh, in fact! I have just one more assistant to introduce today! He is my crazy grand uncle's alcoholic ex-wive's son's daughter's sister's retarded friend's ugly nephew's sister's neighbor's brother's fat niece's half-brother's druggist cousin's half-cousin's obese unhealthy diabetic grandma's daughter's son. Phewgh! That was so hard to say I deserve a whole new milkshake. But before I get it, did I forget to mention that he is from Iran just like Ariana? Oh, and his name is Beck. Welcome, Beck!
See? That's him. Say hello, guys!
Hermione, what the hell is wrong with you? Don't tell me that you hate Beck, please don't! COME ON! IT'S HIS FIRST DAY HERE AND THE LEAST YOU CAN DO IS SHOW SOME RESPECT! MILKSHAKE PEOPLE, MY NERVES ARE BURSTING HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEERE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Okay, I'm fine now. Hermione, please. Beck just wants to say hello.
And I see he has a certain way of saying hello to people. Why is he kissing Ariana? Wait, did she let him or did he kiss her without permission?
WHOA, VIOLENCE! I guess she didn't want him to do that. ARIANA, WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS TO POOR BECK?! Oh no, what will ENRIQUE think?
ENRIQUE, NO, COME BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Guys, stop
tickling Robin, we need to get Enrique back.
GUYS, I SAID STOOOOOOOOOOOOP!!!!!!!!!!!!!
WELL DON'T START CRYING JUST BECAUSE I STOPPED YOU FROM TICKLING ROBIN! Christ's sake! These people just don't get it! Beck, I'm sorry. Ariana, you're punished.
YES you are! You humiliated Beck and hurt him! For this, one of your punishments is to help me find Enrique. Yes, I just said 'one'. There's still a lot more. Oh, and when you DO find him, you have to give him another one of those stupid token of gratitudes! HAH! I bet you're upset and mad and repugnated about what you did back there in the tournament just because you weren't thinking. Now you know how it feels. HAH! And as for Hermione, you have to share your bed with Beck for acting rude to him. Yes, it is just like Stephanie's punishment.
Oh don't you 'please' me up here. You deserve to be punished for your actions, BOTH of you! You hurt both Enrique and Beck in one day, what is it with you girls? And STOP CRYING! YOU'RE MAKING ME WANT TO GET A SALTED CARAMEL SHAKE NOW! Ugh. Anyway, back to class, people. We'll find Enrique later, anyway he doesn't matter that much to me. I could care less if a walrus ate him. Okay, that's just stupid. Whatever. So now that we're done showing you what turned out to be a 40-minute tickle workout with Robin, you understand that you need to be prideful of your foot. Okay, class over, guys! Good job! Oh, and next SHOW YOUR FOOT TO THE WORLD class, I want a full report on the foot and how important it is and you need to show your pride by drawing a picture of a foot, just a foot. Okay? OKAY?! Okay. Goodbye now, time for bed! Phewgh! What a day! Now I can rest. (Snooooooooooore) (Snoooooooooze) ZZZzzz. . . . . . .
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