I KNOW, right? THIS SCHOOL IS WHOOPING AMAZING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Also, I have a WHOLE BUNCH OF new students to INTRODUCE! This is ALWAYS my favorite part! Except for the cringey-ass fiancees of course, EEEEEEEWWWW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I JUST REMEMBERED!!!!!! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! NO CRINGEY-ASS FIANCEES, UGH, WHATEVER! I guess I'll just have to deal with it. Okay, here we go!
First up, Hilary Duff! She is from Los Angeles and she is my niece twice removed and birth by another mother who was actually the retarded adopted kid of my insane drunkard mentally-unstable thirteen times removed uncle who was actually my neighbor's therapist's patient! SHEESH! That was SO MUCH to say! Well, here she is!
OH MY GOD, HILARY! STOP CRASHING INTO OTHER STUDENTS, UGH! Sorry, guys, she's just so excited and overjoyed to be at this school that she doesn't know what she's doing. She's pretty, right? Well this is her, BLEGH--fiancee.
EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEWWWWWW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! CRIIIIIIIIIINGE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! NAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!! MY CRINGEY-ITIS HAS BEEN TRIGGERED!!!!!!!! THIS IS THE WORST ONE YET!!!!!!!!!!!! His name is BLEGH, Eric Draven, BLEGH! STOP TRYING TO SCARE MY ASSISTANT, ERIC! UUUUUUUUUUUUUGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! First five minutes and one of the students is ALREADY causing mayhem, GOD! This happens EVERY TIME, there is ALWAYS someone who causes freaking-ass MAYHEEEEEEEEEEEEM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Oh, next, we have someone that I think EVERYONE will ABSOLUTELY LOVE! I ADORE her, she has magical blonde hair and she is also my distantly related niece, she is also related to Anna and Elsa in some weird complicated way, but it makes sense that she would because they are related to me as well. Here we have Rapunzeeeeeeeeeeeeel!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I KNOW, right?! SHOW YOUR FOOT TO THE WORLD is the most BEAUTIFUL school in the entire-ass world, that's why you're looking at it so dreamily like that. Ugh, here comes the FIANCEE. Welcome Bolaf, oops, I mean OLAF.
Yeah, YEAH, we GET it! You're happy to be here, LET'S MOVE ON, PEOPLE! Ugh, I hate him already. He's a snowman, can I melt him? Just kidding, maybe not. Alright, next is, oh, I forgot, I have a surplus of assistants this year. Welcome Flynn Eugene Fitzherbert Ryder, MY FREAKING NEW ASSISTANT WHO WILL BE HELPING ME TEACH THIS FORCE CLASS!!!!
Yeah, it's crystal clear that you're the assistant. Anyway, I, WAIT, what's going on here?
No, no, NO! I CAN'T BELIEVE THIS IS ALREADY HAPPENING! HANDS. OFF! SHE IS OLAF'S GIRL! Ugh, what am I saying? I don't give a crap about their relationship. Honestly, if you ask me, Olaf is a horrible choice and Rapunzel should drop him IMMEDIATELY! Rapunzel, um, I think my new assistant Mr. Ryder is into you. Like, VERY into you. Like, in LOVE, if I'm not clear. In LOVE. Did I already say that?
Okay, listen, it's hard for you to process, but it's the truth and you HAVE to ACCEPT IT! You will be spending a GREAT DEAL OF TIME with Flynn from now on whether you like it or not. I really don't like that attitude I'm seeing from you, young lady. Honestly, these GIRLS, with their SCARED-ASS ATTITUDES! I HATE IT! Just RESPECT people, you dumb girls! If a guy likes you and wants to do stuff to you, END. OF. STORY! Don't even TRY to fight me on this one, Olaf!
Yeah SHUT UP! Nobody needs to hear your freaking SCREAMING! If Flynn wants to hit on her, HE CAN! So uh, I also have another assistant, he's from NARNIA! He is a prince who his own uncle tried to assassinate him so he ran away and took refuge in SHOW YOUR FOOT TO THE WORLD with ME! Also, if you have any worries or concerns about the class trip to Narnia, I GUARANTEE you that that place is 100% SAFE and FREE of CRIME and DANGER! Anyways, so yeah, his own uncle tried to assassinate him with an extremely dangerous life-threatening group of warriors. Which we will be having a class TRIP, if I have mentioned it before, and EVERYONE is required to go, just saying, if you don't go, you will be flogged like HELL IT IS! Don't worry, I know that place like the BACK OF MY HAND, oh wait, that's new. Here is my 3rd assistant of the new year, PRINCE CASPIAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Yeah, whatever, I don't care if you're tired from the long journey to here. SUCK IT UP! Oh hey Darcy, you are just in time to meet all our newcomers to this school, I just finished introducing Prince Caspian, the 3rd new assistant of the year! Uh, Darcy? Are you okay?
YOU DON'T LIKE CASPIAN????????!!!!!!!!!! Why? WHY I ASK?! I bet you DON'T even have a REASON, you STUPID! Oh wait, I think Caspian is in love with you.
Look at THAT! That's SO CUUUUUUUUTE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I SHIP IT, I SHIP IT, I SHIP IIIIIIIIIIIIIIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Tra-la-la, a-gee-go-go, a-gee-ga-ga! Once I ship something, NOTHING CAN STOP IT! Not even the two people I'm shipping!
Wait, are you talking to Caspian? YES, YES, YES! I SHIP IIIIIIIT SO HAAAAARD!!!!! But I thought you hated him just a second ago---UGH, WAIT! I should have known.
You're talking to disgusting-ass FOZZIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!! UGH, GOD! why did you have to engaged to a MUPPET of all people? No, of all THINGS! AND FOZZIE, WHY THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU CAN JUST START EATING FREAKING SALMON IN MY CLASS?! WHEN DID I EVER IN MY ENTIRE LIFE SAY IT WAS OKAY FOR STUDENTS TO FREAKING ASS EAT IN MY FREAKING ASS CLASS?! ONLY IIIIIIII CAAAAAAAN DOOOOOOOO THAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Oh God, oh God. . .I think I might have a stroke! BECAUSE OF YOU, YOU FREAKING STUPID BEAR! Also, we have another bunch of new students, I SWEAR, after this class will start! Princess Leia is one of them, WELCOME PRINCESS LEIA!!!!!!!!!!!
Yeah, I know, SHOW YOUR FOOT TO THE WORLD is INTIMIDATING-ASS!!!!!!! Also, this is her fiancee, Han Solo. UUUUUUUUUUUUUGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
HEY! I UNDERSTAND YOU'RE FREAKING EXCITED TO BE HERE, BUT THERE'S NO FREAKING NEED TO SCREEEEEAM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! First of all, only I can scream THAT LOUD and THAT MUCH. And, nobody freak out, but. . .LUKE SKYWALKER IS HERE AS WELL!!!!!!1 DARTH VADER'S SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Hey Luke, wait, why do you look like you've just run a marathon? Oh wait, I think you're, I think you've been struck by, by. . .Leia's beauty.
Uh, Leia? I, uh, I know you're still looking around and smiling and admiring the school, but, I need to spill something urgent to you. I know you have a fiancee and everything, UGH! I think, uh, Luke is in love with you, Leia.
WELL ACCEPT IT! AND WHY THE HELL ARE YOU SCREAMING AT THE SIGHT OF LUKE?! In MY opinion, I think he's pretty cut. He's a well-cut piece of MEAT! Because of this horrendous attitude, you have to kiss him. DO IT! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! SHOW HIM THAT RESPECT, GIRL, SHOW IT, SHOW IT, SHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOW IIIIIIIIIIIIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
YEAH, YEP, YEP! NOW THAT'S WHAT I LIKE TO SEE!!!!! PEOPLE KISSIN' AND SMOOCHIN' ALL OVER THE PLACE, YEAH! Alright now, let's start with the lessons. Uh, sorry, Han, but if you try to slam Luke with your blaster then I will slam you with mine except this time you're going to be dead splat on the floor. Anyway, we need to FREAKING START CLASS, PEOPLE!
SEE? Even FLYNN agrees! All this pandemonium has put us a whole MILLENNIA behind! Alright, also, Adrien, Marinette, Alizee, Chico, and Hawk Moth and all them are joining us today. Later on in the class I will introduce another new assistant called Luka, just WAIT! Okay, let's start FORCE CLASS!
Yeah, you BET it's cool, Adrien! So, here is a picture of Yoda using the Force, who will be joining us later because he's awesome and cool and can teach fun and amazing CRAPOLA! So, can anyone recite the famous phrase of Yoda about the Force and then explain it?
You're ABSOLUTELY RIGHT, Marinette! Did everybody hear what Marinette just said? She recited the whole thing and explained it! Marinette says that Yoda said, "The Force is what gives a Jedi his power. It's an energy field created by all living things. It surrounds us and penetrates us. It binds the galaxy together. Luminous beings we are, not this CRUDE MATTER!" She explained that--- you know what? I think is over. I'm too lazy to finish it. And so HERE WE GOOO! Hear that, kids? NEXT CLASS! GO, MOVE YOUR BUTTS!
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