Baking class!

Hello everyone! I'm so darn excited for this class because I have good news! Wait for it . . . . we are going to have BAKING CLASS!!!! And this class we're gonna be learning to bake cakes, and you can bake whatever cake you want! That's right, whichever comes to mind. But the rule is that it HAS to be 3 layers or more. Any less, you get a beating. And trust me, you don't wanna end up like our friend Cameron last class when he got fire-whipped for not knowing the answer to a fucking obvious historical question. He's STILL recovering, by the way. I have no FUCKING idea when he's coming back and honestly I don't FUCKING care. So, let me bring in a cake that was baked by my assistant so you guys can use it as a guide when baking because the next piece of news that is not so fun is this: you are baking without a recipe! That's right, fuckers (except for Richard). Everything is gonna have to come from your brain and what you already know about baking! So I hope y'all are bakers, because today I am NOT in a good mood and trust me, I will have NO problem beating anyone up till the point that they need to be in the infirmary for a month or more. Anyways, all that nice stuff aside, here is the cake!

HERE IT IS!!!!! Aw, I'm so tempted to eat it. Don't worry, I'll eat it after the class is over. It's mine, and if anyone even thinks about laying their dirty sausages on it, I'll murder you in your sleep! Okay? Good! Alright guys, off to bake! I just started the timer for an hour. And be happy that I'm giving you an hour, my last class only got 30 fuckin' minutes. Yeah, safe to say there was a LOT of students who were beat up that time. Ah, that was quite the massacre. Well off you go, the timer has been going since the beginning of class! And I better be satisfied with my cakes, because if not----well, you all know what will happen. I'll be walking around the room to monitor and proctor you guys, just to see what y'all are doing. GET BAKING, SCHOLARLY TURDS!

Ooh, what are you making there, Laureline? Looks delicious! Oh over here, let's see what Joel is making there.

That is NICE, Joel. I love chocolate, I live for chocolate, I breathe for chocolate, and I KILL for chocolate. Over next, let's see what my bae Richard is making.

Ooh, almost looks as tasty as you, Richard. WHAT did I just say? Jesus, I can't control myself around hot guys, can I?

Whoa, WHOA THERE, SOPHIE! That is a PHENOMENAL HUGE MESS you made there! No, don't drop that egg----holy shit, this girl is gonna get beat like REAL fine. Alright, lemme check up on Zabdiel there.

Oh, adding sprinkles I see! Birthday cake, one of my personal favorites. A lot of people have died because of how much I love it, you know. Just a little historical fun fact for you. Next up, Erick!

Ooh, coffee flavor! So the bag is about to get secured, right? You bring me all these foreign, Cuban flavors! Coffee is a big deal in Cuba, right? Lemme check up on Christopher over there.

Christopher, it really isn't a good sign that you're still working on your dry ingredients. The timer is ticking and my whip is ready to crack, so I suggest you get the fuck moving. Now, I'm gonna go over and check up on Luz.

Lookin' good there, Luz! Your batter is all ready. In fact, that was WAY too fast. Your cake better not be simplistic or you're lookin' at a real painful beating after class. Well keep workin', honey! I'm gonna go check up on Mcecilia.

Oh, watch out there! Things are steaming. Hmm, steaming. That's a good word to describe Richard. In fact, I'll add it to my list of words. Yeah, people. I have a list, don't fuckin' judge. I'm gonna go check on everyone else.



(tick-tock, tick-tock, tick-tock)


Alright, you guys should be about finishing up and already decorating your cakes! Those of you who aren't, it's already hopeless for you so just go and wait for me in the torture chamber. Alright, times UP! Lemme see those cakes! First up we're gonna have a look at Laureline's cake.

HAROO-HARAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!! THAT IS A FANTASTIC-LOOKING CAKE, NOT SIMPLISTIC AT ALL, AND IT IS SO FANCY AND INCREDIBLE AND THAT FLOWER, OH MY GOD! IT LOOKS SO REAL BUT IT IS MADE OF CHOCOLATE! I hope you're all seeing this and sketching the cake to remember and use as a guide, because you all probably have ass cakes, except for Richard. Laureline, you really just outdid yourself and I am so proud! I guess you don't have to worry about getting whipped. Lemme have a bite. OOOOHHHH, SO GOOOOOOD!!!!!!!! A+ FOR SURE! Next up, Joel with his chocolate cake!

DAYUMMMMMMMM JOEL!!!!!!!!!! THAT CAKE BE LOOKIN' DELICIOUS THERE! It's so chocolate, caramel, and so many nuts and all that good stuff! Oof, you really outdid yourself, dare I say even more than Laureline. Lemme try it. OOH, SO TASTYYYYYYYY!!!!!!! ANOTHER FABULOUS A+! Anyways, next up is the one that I will probably like the most since it comes from Richard, RICHARD'S CAKE!

Oh . . . . my . . . . GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOODDDDDDDDDDDD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! RICHARD YASHEL CAMACHO PUELLO, YOU HAVE REALLY OUTDONE YOURSELF MORE THAN ANYONE ELSE!!!!!!!!!!!!! OH MY GOD, I'M CRYING! JUST WHEN I THOUGHT YOU COULD NOT GET ANY BETTER!!!!!!!! A++++++++++++++++ AND INFINITE PLUSES WITHOUT A DOUBT!!!!!!!! Alright, next up is one that matters much less and will probably not be as good, Zabdiel.

Ugh, Zabdiel. What a downgrade. You know, I saw the sprinkles in your batter and I thought: huh, maybe this is actually gonna be a good cake that I will like a lot. And then you give me this piece of absolute shit! It's a straight D. You know, you're gonna get a beating. That's right, a big FAT one.

See? Joel is hugging you because he knows how much pain you're about to go through. And don't give me that fuckin' face, you know I told you NOT to make a simplistic cake and you went ahead and DELIBERATELY FUCKIN' DISOBEYED ME, and now you have to pay the consequences. I mean, compare your piece of shit cake to Joel's, Laureline's, or the magnificent heavenly cake of Richard. You know, you had so much potential and you flushed it all down the toilet just because you rushed the baking process. You know, honestly you deserve this beating. Anyways, next up, let's have a look at Erick's coffee cake.

SLTIRGHSDFHWEUHTJWEHRUDFJDGUDHUGHTEGGGGG!!!!!!!! IT LOOKS SO DELICIOUS, MY MOUTH IS WATERING! MMM, AND IT IS DELICIOUS!!!!!!! But it does look a bit simple. However, it is sophisticated enough for you to escape a beating, so you get a B. Next up, Christopher's cake.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . .I don't think I need any words to express---just go into the torture chamber. I'm even embarrassed to look at your face. Your existence means nothing to me. Class, I don't even think I need to announce what grade he got. He doesn't even deserve an F. It's an automatic Z, no questions asked. Oh, someone please make me happy again! Luz, please show me your cake and I hope to god it's not that piece of shit that can't even be called a baked good.

Oh thank the LORD! Now THAT is a true work of art, ladies and gentleman. She really worked hard and look what she achieved: a beautiful still not as good as Richard's but still great cake! That is an easy, no questions asked A, Luz! I am so darn proud of you, good job!

Okay, stop flaunting or you're gonna get a beating. Just for doing that, I'm lowering your grade to a B. Only I'M allowed to flaunt my junk, and certainly not anyone who thinks they will attract anyone especially not Richard because HE IS MINE! Heh-heh, just kidding. That was . . . a joke. Anyways, next up is Mcecilia's cake.

MMMMM, COTTON CANDY MACARON MERINGUE FLAVORRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!! I don't even need to announce the fact that you got an A, but I will announce it anyways. YOU GOT AN A, YAY! So here are the rest of the cakes that I think are worth showing because the rest of the class are all waiting in the torture chamber because of how badly they disappointed me:








AND SO ON AND SO FORTH AND WHAT HAVE YOUUUUUUUUUU!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Anyways, class dismissed. Now get the hell out of here.