IT'S RAPUNZEL'S BIRTHDAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!!!!!!!!!!! Also, stop harassing my assistant, Rapunzel. Guys, today is Rapunzel's birthday, and that is why this Baking Class is going to be EXTRA special for Rapunzel but EXTRA hard for YOU GUYS! See, this is the first time that I'm going to be allowing someone other than MYSELF to EAT. So, you BETTER MAKE SOMETHING SPECIAL AND GINORMOUS AND AMAZING FOR RAPUNZEL OR I WILL WHIP YOU ALL SO HARD THAT YOU WILL BE LYING FLAT ON THE FLOOR, BLEEDING TO DEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEATH!!!!!!!!! And in worst case scenario, if you die, I'll just bring you back with the malfunctioning-ass Lazarus. Alright, who's ready? Get ready to come up with your own amazing recipe, you'll get extra points if you make it a CAKE! Also, one of them HAS to be a cake or I will end you. And you only have 30 minutes like always. ACTUALLY! IT'S 20 BECAUSE IT'S RAPUNZEL'S BIRTHDAY TODAY! Okay, IS EVERYONE READY????!!!!!
I can see SAMANTHA is already looking through my library of cook books to find something to bake! EVERYBODY COPY HER AND START! GO, GO, GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!! Ah. Me and Rapunzel will sit back in our paradise sofas and watch you guys suffer and bake in tears.
HAWK! MIGUEL! DON'T JUST WATCH OTHER PEOPLE AS THEY BAKE, DO YOUR SHIT OR I'LL FLOG YOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Did you just ask what the HELL you're supposed to DO, Miguel? DON'T ASK ME! YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO COME UP WITH YOUR OWN FUCKING RECIPE, YOU DUMBAAAAAAAAAAAAAASS!!!!!!!!!!!!! GOOOOOOOOOOOOOO BEFORE I BEAT YOU UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! OOH! Look at what Samantha is baking!
I hope that's not ALL you're making, Samantha. Because it's Rapunzel's birthday and it better not only be those cinnamon swirl buns. Alright, NEXT! Let's take a look at what Diana is doing!
DIANA! WHOOOOOOAAAA!!!!!!!! You are already finishing up your CAKE?! AND IT'S HUMONGOUS! I CAN'T WAIT TO SEE HOW IT LOOKS! I can already feel an A+ coming on for you! I have hope in you! Alright, let's see how the others are doing!
Ooh! Cupcakes! Those look nice, Collins. But, um, doesn't that seem a bit simple? You better make something else along with that!
CHRIS! Are those CREAM PUFFS? THAT'S SO FUCKING DELICIOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOUS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'M DEFINITELY GOING TO HAVE ONE, YOU CAN TRUST ME ON THAT ONE!!!!!!!!!!!!
What? Who made this BEAUTY? THIS
ABSOLUTELY OUTSTANDING BEAUTY????!!!!! IT'S A COMPLETE, ANGELIC, WONDERFUL DREEAM! IT'S LIKE, OUT OF THIS WORLD! OUT OF THIS UNIVERSE! IT CAME DOWN FROM HEAVEN ITSELF! Who made this? SPEAK UP, o' talented and creative and miraculous one, so I may bestow a gift upon you! Ugh, why am I talking like this? This doesn't fucking sound like me at ALL! Oh there I am again! I knew I would come back to my senses!
What the FUCK? YOU? YOU OF ALL PEOPLE?! Ew, NO! You're not WORTH this absolute MASTERPIECE of ART! You know what YOU'RE worth? An under cooked shitty-ass pie that got run over by a truck, THAT'S what you are! I can't even BELIEVE you are the one who made this! I can't even COMPREHEND IT! Did you steal it from someone? Because THAT makes more sense than YOU actually making this wondrous piece of shit! YOU do not deserve to serve this to my dear Rapunzel, she deserves a baker that's worth more than YOU! If you even TRY to get recognition for this piece of dessert, so HELP YOU----
What, Chris? You think he DESERVES to serve that to Rapunzel? Okay, sorry. I OVERREACTED. It's just you're always fucking failing in every single class of mine, but it's okay, you deserve the recognition, Johnny. And I am not sorry, forget that I said that because I am NEVER sorry, PERIOD. Are you proud of yourself, Johnny? Are you proud for beating the timer? You're the first one to do it, well, after Samantha.
Yeah, my assistants are congratulating his ass. Ugh. Whatever, you deserve it, kid. Ew, I hate that I just said that.
Oh, look. Rapunzel went from thumbs down to thumbs up for you! Oh wait, Rapunzel? Are YOU baking? But it's your birthday! Why are you baking? You're supposed to be sitting back and relaxing!
Oh, you say you LOVE baking and want to do it with the rest of the students just for fun because that's what you like to do on your birthday? Oh, OKAY! Then keep going! That means more food for ME! And uh, for you too, of course. Also, I forgot to get you a present. Actually, no, I'm gonna be honest, I didn't forget, I was just too lazy to get one. But don't worry, I sent my assistant to go get it for you. And if they don't come back in time for the present-unwrapping I will kill them. ALRIGHT! KEEP BAKING! YOU HAVE 10 FUCKING MINUTES LEEEEEEEEEEEEEFT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Oooooh! Rapunzel even made COOKIES! And my FAVORITE FUCKING KIND: FUCKING-ASS CHOCOLATE CHIP COOKIES! They're so gooey I'M GONNA DIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! EVERYONE: LOOK! Rapunzel is not REQUIRED to bake because it's her birthday but she's STILL GOING TO EXTRA MILE AND MAKING EXTRA STUFF EVEN THOUGH HER PIE WAS ENOUGH! SO TAKE THAT INTO ACCOUNT AND MAKE SOMETHING AWESOME OR YOU WILL BE SENT TO THE TORTURE CHAMBER FOR YOUR EXTREME LACK OF PERFORMANCE IN THIS CLASS! Alright, I'm good. 10 MINUTES, GUYS, 10 MINUTES!!!!!!!!
YEAH THAT'S RIGHT, DANIEL! STOP LOOKING AT WHAT RAPUNZEL MADE AND DON'T COPY IT! IF YOU COPY IT I WILL FLOG YOU SO HARD YOUR CLOTHES WILL BE OUT OF STYLE! Also, those are some pretty fugly-ass chef clothes you propped on there if you were trying to make yourself look like one. 8 MINUUUUUUUUUUUUTES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Whoa, Daniel, you OUTDID yourself!
Okay, I'm not gonna scream because this is BEYOND REPULSIVE and I have absolutely NO WORDS to express what I am feeling because of this, but that is one straight-UP piece of absolute shit and whoever had the BALLS to bake something that simple and stupid is going STRAIGHT to the torture chamber after this. Okay, continuing! 10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1, HANDS OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOFF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
ALRIGHT! Let's TASTE some of these cakes and then GRADE THEM! Are you excited, Rapunzel?
I KNOW, ME TOO! THAT'S MY REACTION AS WELL WHEN I SEE FOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Alright, let me try Samantha's creation first.
OH MY GOD LOOK AT ALL THIS AMAZING FOOD THAT'S ALL FOR MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!! Oh, I mean, US. When I say 'us' I really mean 'me'. Also, look what my ASSISTANTS made for Rapunzel! Oops, I meant ME, not my assistants, definitely NOT THEM. It's not like I forced them to make this last minute because I completely forgot to make something for Rapunzel myself. AHEM! Anyway. HAPPY BIRTHDAY, RAPUNZEL!
I KNOW, RIGHT?! IT'S MASSIVE! AND ALL FOR ME! I mean YOU! You, of course, not me. Ahem, yes me. It's a cake fit perfectly for a princess! Anyway, thanks for dropping Flynn to the floor, he deserved it for not finishing his dessert on time. Also, guess what else I got for you? LANTERNS! THEY'RE ALL OVER THE SCHOOL, LOOOOOK! I know they're your favorite so I GOT THEM FOR YOU! I trekked all the way to Corona to get them and I stole them all while the people were having a party, they're probably looking for me to hang me but it's too late. Also I stole this for you as well. It's technically NOT stealing because it's actually yours and all I did was borrow it to return it to its rightful ruler, no hard feelings. If anyone had any hard feelings I would crush them. Alright, put it on, birthday girl!
LOOK HOW PRETTY SHE LOOOOOKS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
FLYNN, BACK OFF! Oh shit, HE'S LOOKING AT HER! Olaf, what are YOU gonna do about that?!
Ugh, this complete IDIOT. He doesn't even REALIZE that his girl is being hit on by someone else, YUGH! Stupid-ass. Also, look at Rapunzel, guys! She looks so happy with all the food and lanterns, ESPECIALLY the lanterns!
Oh no, OH NO! THEY'RE GONNA KISS! EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! SOMEONE GET ME A BARF BAAAAAAAAAAAG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Also, Johnny was the winner of today's bake-off, ugh, SURPRISINGLY, but anyway, his dish will be the first one Rapunzel tries after her special princess cake.
Look at Johnny, he's so happy that he won! Also Kreese is there to guard his cake so no one stupidly tries to EAT IT! Except for ME, of course! You know what? Rapunzel is a princess, but she should be a QUEEN! Also, these are everybody else's grades just so we know who's safe and who the hell is NOT!
Samantha - A-
Ovi - A+
Hammy - A+
Flynn - F-
Olaf - A+
Rapunzel - A+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ (AKA BIRTHDAY GIRL!!!!:):):):))
Johnny - A+++++++++++ (WINNER!!!!!!!:):):))
Chris - A+
Alex - A+
Rat - A+
Daniel - A+
Janhvi - A+
Bertram - A+
Akhmenrah - A+
Miguel El Dorado - A+
Miguel Diaz - A+
Victoria - A+
Dre Parker - A+
Moon - A+
Demetri - A+
Howie - A+
Diana - A+
Kirk - A+
Yue - A+
Zuko - A+
Sokka - A+
Katara - A+
Aang - A+
Robby - A+
Collins - A+
Tori - A+
Link - A+
Ray - A+
Hermione - A+
Beck - A+
Ariana - A+
WOW! EVERYONE DID ABSOLUTELY SPECTACULAR AND PUT THEMSELVES UP ON SUCH A HIGH PEDESTAL! THIS IS THE VERY FIRST TIME THAT EVERY SINGLE STUDENT IN THE CLASS GOT AN A+, I CAN'T BELIEVE IIIIIIIT-----I spoke too soon. I sit a BIG FAT F before Flynn's name. Also, isn't that what your name STARTS with, Flynn? F, for Flynn the Fucker-Upper-24-7? That's it. To the torture chamber. No excuses. Now stop being so lovey-dovey with Rapunzel and GO! Oh I can't. They look so in love!
OH MY GOD! OH MY GOD! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!! Okay, CLASS OUT! OH GOD, WHAT'S WRONG WITH ME?! I MEAN, TEACHER OUT! FLYNN, COME HERE! IT'S OVER FOR YOOOOOOOOOOOOOOUUUUUUUUU!!!!!!!!!!!!
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