History of Halloween class!

HELLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Hey dumb-asses, it's me, I'M BACK! Yes, I have just returned for, GET READY! THE NEWEST CLASS INSTALLED BECAUSE IT IS HALLOWEENTIME: HALLOWEEN CLASS! We only have this class during Halloween time, basically September-October and if anyone tries to even mention it during other times of the year I slamdunk them and kill them. SO YEAH! NO PRESSURE on keepin' that babblin' mouth of yours SHUT! Alright, so let's start off with a bit of history about Halloween. WHO WANTS TO GIVE SOME BACKGROUND??????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

YES YOU'RE RIGHT, CAITLIN! ABSOLUTELY RIGHT! What a smart-ass. In case you douchebags didn't hear her, what Caitlin said is Halloween or Hallowe'en (a contraction of Hallows' Even or Hallows' Evening), also known as Allhalloween, All Hallows' Eve, or All Saints' Eve, is a celebration observed in many countries on 31 October, the eve of the Western Christian feast of All Hallows' Day. 

It begins the observance of Allhallowtide, the time in the liturgical year dedicated to remembering the dead, including saints (hallows), martyrs, and all the faithful departed. One theory holds that many Halloween traditions originated from ancient Celtic harvest festivals, particularly the Gaelic festival Samhain, which may have had pagan roots and that Samhain itself was Christianized as Halloween by the early Church. Other scholars believe, however, that Halloween began solely as a Christian holiday, separate from ancient festivals like Samhain.Halloween activities include trick-or-treating (or the related guising and souling), attending Halloween costume parties, carving pumpkins into jack-o'-lanterns, lighting bonfires, apple bobbing, divination games, playing pranks, visiting haunted attractions, telling scary stories, as well as watching horror films. 

In many parts of the world, the Christian religious observances of All Hallows' Eve, including attending church services and lighting candles on the graves of the dead, remain popular, although elsewhere it is a more commercial and secular celebration. Some Christians historically abstained from meat on All Hallows' Eve, a tradition reflected in the eating of certain vegetarian foods on this vigil day, including apples, potato pancakes, and soul cakes.

SO YEAH! Nice explanation, Caitlin! I SEE YOU KNOW YOUR STUFF! Anyways, let me start ranting on about how AMAZINGLY I decorated SHOW YOUR FOOT TO THE WORLD for Halloween this year! I absolutely LOVE Halloween! It's one of my FAVORITE holidays EVER! Actually, I have a Fortune-telling Gypsy locked up in one of my dungeons deep down in SHOW YOUR FOOT TO THE WORLD, I captured her last Halloween when all the grizzly ghouls came out. So basically, she told me a Prophecy, and personally, I don't really believe much in all that supernatural prophecy shit, but I actually BELIEVED this one! That's because it's TRUE! So basically, she told me this AWFUL Prophecy about how on Halloween Night, October 31st, the Prophecy will come true, and this Prophecy says this: 

Darkness falls across the land

The midnight hour is close at hand

Creatures crawl in search of blood

To terrorize y'awl's neighborhood

And whosoever shall be found

Without the soul for getting down

Must stand and face the hounds of hell

And rot inside a corpse's shell

The foulest stench is in the air

The funk of forty thousand years

And grizzly ghouls from every tomb

Are closing in to seal your doom

And though you fight to stay alive

Your body starts to shiver

For no mere mortal can resist

The evil of the thriller!

So, what do y'all THINK?! I thought it was actually pretty cool, although I got a literal HEART ATTACK when she told me this because she's like the Spirit of Delphi, her eyes turned all glowing white and shit and I went into cardiac arrest because of how SCARED I was! I screamed out for help for my assistants to come save me and commit CPR on me and after they revived me I murdered them because I had no need for them anymore.

Yeah I know, it's a little hard to believe but it's ACTUALLY true, like NO JOKE! Also no, I don't know what you're talking about, Barry, because I've never heard a Halloween song with those lyrics before and if Michael Jackson DID make a song with this lyrics he probably met the Gypsy as well and copied her freaking prophecy without giving her credit! WHAT A BASTARD! Anyways, I KNOW you must be absolutely SHOCKED that there is a living, breathing Gypsy-ass hidden deep in our school but I don't suggest you go looking for her because I will murder you. Alright, so just get ready for an army of grizzly ghouls to attack SHOW YOUR FOOT TO THE WORLD on Halloween night because it's definitely gonna happen, I can read the Cosmos, it will. ALRIGHT! So, lemme take out my Jack-O-Lantern so we can STUDY IT!

SO YEAH! Sorry I turned off the lights in the classroom, I just wanted you guys to see how absolutely CREEPY AND SPOOKY my Jack-O-Lanterns. Oh shit, I can't find the light now, it's SO DARK!

I'm glad you asked, Rapunzel. Would you please light a candle?

ASSISTANT! I'm gonna murder her ass for scaring Rapunzel like that. Dumb hoe. Alright, let's get back to class! So Jack-O-Lanterns, like the ones I have here, are known to be what? Well, a jack-o'-lantern is essentially a carved pumpkin, turnip, or other root vegetable lantern associated with Halloween. Its name comes from the phenomenon of a strange light flickering over peat bogs, called will-o'-the-wisp or jack-o'-lantern.The carving of vegetables has been a common practice in many parts of the world. It is believed that the custom of making jack-o'-lanterns at Hallowe'en time began in Ireland. In the 19th century, "turnips or mangel wurzels, hollowed out to act as lanterns and often carved with grotesque faces," were used on Halloween in parts of Ireland and the Scottish Highlands. In these Gaelic-speaking regions, Halloween was also the festival of Samhain and was seen as a time when supernatural beings (the Aos Sí), and the souls of the dead, walked the earth. Jack-o'-lanterns were also made at Halloween time in Somerset (see Punkie Night) during the 19th century.

By those who made them, the lanterns were said to represent either spirits or supernatural beings, or were used to ward off evil spirits. For example, sometimes they were used by Halloween participants to frighten people, and sometimes they were set on windowsills to keep harmful spirits out of one's home. It has also been suggested that the jack-o'-lanterns originally represented Christian souls in purgatory, as Halloween is the eve of All Saints' Day (1 November)/All Souls' Day (2 November).

On Halloween in 1835, the Dublin Penny Journal published a long story on the legend of "Jack-o'-the-Lantern". In 1837, the Limerick Chronicle refers to a local pub holding a carved gourd competition and presenting a prize to "the best crown of Jack McLantern". The term "McLantern" also appears in an 1841 publication of the same paper.

There is also evidence that turnips were used to carve what was called a "Hoberdy's Lantern" in Worcestershire, England, at the end of the 18th century. The folklorist Jabez Allies recalls. 

So yeah,THERE YOU HAVE IT! Halloween is ACTUALLY a PRETTY COOL holiday that we should ALL CELEBRATE! Those people who don't celebrate it are so STUPID and don't know what they're missing out on. Anyways, so I want you guys to help me decorate the school some more so IT IS A COMPLETE ADVENTURE AND AMAZEMENT FOR HALLOWEEN!!!! Alright, so I want everyone to carve their own pumpkins for today's classwork so I can see the range of awful to amazing skills in this class AND so I can give all you guys a grade AND so I can have MORE PUMPKINS TO PUT AROUND THE SCHOOL!!!!! 

Yes I KNOW, I'm SUCH a CREATIVE teacher! Aren't you guys SO happy that I'm ACTUALLY a FUN teacher that gives FUN homework and classwork and isn't like those other asses out there who assign so much dumb overwhelming bullshit to their students? Yes you are, aren't you? ALRIGHT!!!!!!! GET TO WORK!!! YOU ONLY HAVE 10 MINUTES, GO, GO, GOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!

Why does that look like a friggin-ass POT, Rapunzel, may I ask? Okay, so in case you guys need some extra help on how to carve a Jack-O-Lantern WHICH YOU SHOULD ALREADY KNOW HOW TO DO, my dumbass shit assistants will demonstrate for you. Here they are, watch them everybody!

HURRY UP ASSHOLES!!!! UGH I HATE YOU ALL SOOOOOOOOOO MUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'm killing you all after this, just know that. ALRIGHT! Now that you all have seen a few examples of what your freaking pumpkin should REMOTELY look like, then GO AHEAD, START CARVING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Also, side note: I'm thinking of throwing a Halloween Masquerade at SHOW YOUR FOOT TO THE WORLD! It's gonna become an annual thing so get FRIGGIN' READY FOR IT!!!!!!!!

Wow, that's awful.

MIGUEL, PLEASE! You KNOW its bad, you know it yourself, so please don't start getting offended! IT'S THE FRIGGIN' TRUTH SO TRY HARDER BECAUSE I WANT SHOW YOUR FOOT TO THE WORLD TO LOOK SCARY AS HELL THIS SEASON, DO IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIT!!!!!!!!!!!!! Also if you don't hurry up and make me something worth it, then I might just blab to Rapunzel about your feelings for her. 

EXACTLY! You don't want me to do that, right? Because you know she would scream if I told her, so start WORKING YOUR BUTT OFF! SCRAM! GO AHEAD! Also, Hawk there is just trying to give you some pointers about how to do it right. HAWK, SHOW HIM HOW IT'S DONE!!!!

Ooooh, I like where this is going!

AND HE'S FINISHED!!!! HAWK IS FINISHED!!!! OH MY GOD THAT IS SO GORGEOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOUS!!!!!!!!!!!! THAT WILL BE THE FIRST PUMPKIN TO DECORATE THE HALLWAYS!!!!! HAWK OH MY GOD HAWK YOU ARE MY LITERAL HEROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!! Guys! You should all follow HAWK'S example! YOU HEAR THAT?! Okay you guys heard it! OKAY, THAT'S TIME!!!! Everyone show your pumpkins and lets see who wins best pumpkin!!! This was also somewhat of a pumpkin-carving contest, so yeah!

Rapunzel! OH MY GOD! Is this one YOURS???!!! THE NIGHTMARE BEFORE CHRISTMAS ONE???? REALLY???? I ABSOLUTELY LOOOOOOOOOOVE THAT MOVIE!!!!

A+/100% FOR YOU RAPUNZEL!!!

YEEEEEEES!!! I KNOW YOU'RE SO EXCITED AND HAPPY AND OVERWHELMED!!! You did an absolutely remarkable and AMAZING job, Rapunzel!!! You deserve the grade you received! ALRIGHT, NEXT UP, MIGUEL DIAZ!!!!

Whoa, it actually came out better than I expected it to. Well, points to YOU, Miguel, for making an absolutely CREEPY AND SPOOKY Jack-O-Lantern that will SCARE THE HELL OUT OF EVERYONE WHO WALKS BY IT AND GIVE THEM A HEART ATTACK AND A STROKE AND GO INTO CARDIAC ARREST AND DIE ALL AT THE SAME TIME!!! Okay sorry, I went overboard, actually I didn't, you guys just can't handle anything because you're freaking SISSIES!!!

Okay, OKAY! DON'T TAKE IT TO YOUR HEAD!!! Stop fist-bumping my dumb-ass assistant PLEASE! Also, you could give that Jack-O-Lantern to Rapunzel as a love confession if you want to, I personally think that would be an AWESOME idea! Of course it's awesome, because I, the Teacher, came up with it!

UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUH!!!!! YOU DIDN'T HEAR THAT, RAPUNZEL, PRETEND YOU DIDN'T HEAR IT!!! NEVER MIND! FORGET I SAID THAT! AND WE'RE MOVING ON!!! FLYNN, LET. HER. GOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! Oh! Who's pumpkin is this? 

I'm sorry, am I supposed to be impressed? This pumpkin has absolutely NO character WHATSOEVER! Look at its COMPLETELY BLAND-ASS FACE!!! I can't even BELIEVE you think this QUALIFIES, Cisco! This is a straight up F right here, brother! 

Don't even THINK about fighting with me on it, you KNOW you didn't try! YOU KNOW! ALRIGHT! MOVIN' OOOON!!! Barry! Is this YOURS?

OOOOOOH!!!! It has green flames emerging from it, you added that EXTRA TOUCH OF HALLOWEEN SEASON SPOOKINESS! OH BABY, I LOVE YOU SO MUCH, FOR THIS YOU DESERVE AN A++++++++++++++++++-------

OH MY GOD, OH MY GOD, OH MY GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD!!!!! FORGET I SAID THAT, BARRY! EVERYONE, FORGET WHAT I JUST SAID OR I WILL MURDER YOU AAAAAAAAAAALLLL!!! Except for Barry of course! ANYWAAAAYYSSS!!!!! Let's take a look at the rest, shall we? Hehe! "sweat, sweat, pant, pant"

WHAT?! How are their FACES moving?! Who did this? Ignacio? Ignacio how did you do that?

Yeah, I'm talking to YOU, YOU BASTARD!!!! HEY, HEY! STOP LOOKING AT RAPUNZEL AND LOOK AT ME!! ME, YOUR TEACHER!!! Oh yeah, by the way, I decided to reform you and turn you into my student so your criminal record against Rapunzel would be washed clean.

Also, stop being so awkward towards Ignacio, Rapunzel, I know you remember that kiss that happened last class between you and him and that might happen again if you're not careful with that fresh attitude! Who's pumpkin is this? It looks so PLAIN! Although I still like how eerie and spooky and creepy it looks, A- to THIS PERSON!

Oh it was Olaf, of COURSE! Who ELSE would it be? Olaf, have Miguel show you how to do it the right way! ALRIGHT, CLASS OVER, AND TEACHER OUT!!!!