Hot as fuck, aren't they? Let me introduce each and every one of them! This is Zabdiel de Jesus from Puerto Rico, he is 22 and he is excited to be here! Aren't you, Zabdi? Say that you are or I'll hit you.
See? He winked at me. He obviously thinks I'm hot. Next up is Christopher Velez from Ecuador, he is 24 and the oldest of CNCO, as well as the goofy one of the group and the most annoying. He's WAY too flirty! I mean sure, flirt with me, but no one else!
Hello to you too! Next up, Erick Brian Colon! He is the youngest in CNCO at the crack of 19 years old, and he is from my Cuba! This is one of my personal favorites, don't tell him I said that. I've had dreams where I wake up next to him. Isn't that hilarious? Sorry, I forgot this whole thing has to be PG and strictly professional.
What are you laughing at, cutie? AHHHEEMMMM!!!!! Sorry, something got stuck in my throat. Didn't just say that. I mean, look at him! He's so darn cute. Next up is Joel Pimentel from Mexico, at 21 and the most shy! He's a ham!
Hello there, Joel! ANYWAYS, here's my own personal favorite! Like I mean, he's trouble in a way that I can't talk about in this classroom. Sometimes I imagine his hand going up----OKAAAAAY! I keep forgetting I'm supposed to keep this PG. Damn it! Here is Richard Camacho from the Dominican Republic at age 23, people!
Damn, his lips look delicious. They look like butter! Now I made myself hungry. Since I can't eat Richard, I'm gonna ask an assistant TO BRING ME SOME FOOD BEFORE I CHOP SOMEONE'S DAMN HEAD OFF!!!!
Wow, I can't tell what makes my mouth water more: Richard or these nachos. Anyways, here are MY NEW STUDENTS! First up, Luz Pavon. She is a Mexican model and super gorgeous.
Hey Luz! Well you're looking happy to be here! Anyways, here's her fiancee and a deliberate piece of shit: Starkey!
OH PLEASE, you just don't wanna admit that I'm right and that you're a straight piece of fuckin' shit! I don't know what was in Luz's head to get engaged to you. Anyways, next---
Uh, Luz! I think you might have a Puerto Rican ADMIRERRRRR!!!!!!! Zabdiel LIKES you, bitch!
NO YOU FUCKING DON'T, YOU DARN IDIOT! ONLY I AM ALLOWED TO EAT OR DRINK HEEEEEEEEEEEERE!!!!!!!!!! And I don't fucking care what you think, Zabdiel is allowed to do whatever he wants to Luz if he likes her, and if you try to stop him, I'll give you five referrals!!! Anyways, next up is Lea Elui, an Instagram model/dancer and she is French!
YEAH LEA, ROCK THAT BODY! She's such a good dancer, isn't she? I'm still a better belly-dancer, though. No one can beat me, I'm worldwide. Hear that, Richard? You want a belly-dancer, you got one right here, baby! Anyways, ignoring my extreme inappropriate behavior, NEXT UP IS HER PIECE OF SHIT FIANCEE JUST LIKE ALL THE OTHER FIANCEES, STEVEN ZEICHNER! He is unable to be here because he is teaching a class right now of his own in a shitty school that cannot even COMPETE with SHOW YOUR FOOT TO THE WORLD so he is not here and will not be in view for the rest of our semester.
OH MY GOD, I THINK CHRISTOPHER HAS A CRUSH AS WELL! Lea, you're being crushed on and you can't do anything about it! Christopher, don't worry about keeping your hands to yourself. In this school, you can be a boy however much you WANT! NO LIMITS! Anyways, next up is YOUR FAVORITE TIK-TOK TWIN SISTERS, DIXIE D'AMELIO AND CHARLI D'AMELIO!!!!!!
Hi there, Dixie! You're certainly in a cheerful mood! Ugh, it's always a bummer to combat their beauty with the shitty aura of their fiancees. I regret to inform that this is Merlin, her fiancee. Gag and weep, kids. Gag and weep.
See? My assistant in the back there is even telling him to quiet down. SHUT UP, YOU OLD BASTARD!
Well-said, Han! Where DID you find that dusty old piece of shit, Dixie?
I know, RIGHT? You speak for all of us with that expression, hottie. DUH, I MEAN ERICK!Wait a minute, do you have a crush on Dixie? DAYUM!!!!! CNCO BE GETTIN' THEMSELVES GIRLFRIENDS ALREADY! Except for Richard, don't TOUCH him! ARGHHHH!!!!!! Anyways, next up is special operative of the army LAURELINE!
Hello there, Laureline! Anyways, here is her crappy fiancee, Major Valerian!
Yeah, I called you crappy, get the fuck over it. And that behind there must be that assistant that mysteriously went missing after she forgot to serve me her meal and was probably afraid I'd kill her! Heh! Anyways, I'll get to her later. So----
Hey babe, why are you getting up? Are you coming for me---AAAND he just walked past me and to Laureline. No, I am not crying. I don't cry. THE TEACHER DOES NOT CRY! I just said *sob, sob* that I would not shed any tears.
Ooh, she doesn't like you back! Laureline, what is your issue? This guy is the hottest---okay, I swear, please don't arrest me for not being able to hold back. Anyways, continuing, I never introduced CHARLI D'AMELIO!
HI TO YOU TOO! You seem jolly, unlike a certain sad teacher who just got rejected by her Dominican daddy. Jeez, I really wanted that guy! Anyways, the usual. Charli's ugly-ass and old should-be-in-a-home fiancee, King Harold!
What do you mean WHERE ARE WE? Are you a dumbass? I mean, are you getting amnesia 'cause you're so fuckin' old? WE'RE IN SHOW YOUR FOOT TO THE WORLD! Ask me a question like that again, you're gonna get a beating. So here is my other student also from Ecuador but not white, Ecuadoriano! He was not able to show up, but just know that he has a fetish for Charli and Harold does not like him, but as usual, we do not give a fuck about what the fiancees think! We're gonna be digging up his grave soon, so why bother caring if he's soon to be pushing up daisies? SO LET'S BEGIN THE CLASS! Alright peoples, as we all know, this class is about learning to sing because you all have horrible voices and CNCO is going to help you fix them so instead of sounding like dying birds, you sound like flying ones! And dancing too, you all look like butts tripping over each other when you dance. CNCO will also teach you how to dance. So they are going to sing us a song they did with Meghan Trainor and Sean Paul called 'Hey DJ'! Watch and if anyone even dares talk while they're performing and especially interrupt my daddy, you're gonna get thrown in the dungeon where the assistants will whip you into place with a nice beating!
Yeah, I called you daddy, get over it! I'm not calling you by your real name. I mean, you should be honored! I only called people daddy who I think are daddy-material. So there is a student who Joel fancies and her name is Mcecilia Oliveira and her crappy-ass fiancee Gadiel del Orbe, but unfortunately they cannot show their faces due to their parents not wanting their faces shown. Anyways, here is the song of CNCO!
WAHOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!! AWESOMEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!! WASN'T RICHARD--AHEM, I MEAN ALL OF THEM SO GOOD?! And their voices, just like honey! Forget Sean Paul and Meghan trainor, they're fat out-dated dick-wads. I mean, Meghan Trainor is so 2013 with her shit-ass 'All About that Bass'. I mean, how hard is it to lose some weight, people? GET RID OF THE GUT! So, who wants to dance first?
Um, I don't know if I would call that full-fledged dancing, but keep working on it, it might even get as good as how my daddy dances! Who's next?
WHOA, OKAY! THIS IS NOT STRIPPING CLASS!
Okay Laureline, you better stop before you arouse Richard past the point of no return. So CNCO is going to demonstrate to us some bold dance moves!
See how coordinated they are? Look how smooth their choreography is, and how swift their dance moves are. I want you to look like that by next class or you can expect a nice and harsh beating! Teacher OUT---
I KNEW you had a thing for me! Teacher OUT, so I can get myself a new pair of pants!
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