Flying class

WEEEELCOME BACK! So, it's been a while since we've had flying class, and the flight test is coming up. And don't think, that just because we use pixie dust in magical class, that that means that you can use it in flying class, because that is very WRONG AND NOT TRUE FLYING AND YOU WILL BE KICKED INTO THE DEEP, DARK, SCARY, UNKNOWN DUNGEONS OF SHOW YOUR FOOT TO THE WORLD FOREVER WHERE you will, never, ever, EVER, find theeeem!!!!!!! Okay, now, moving on. We have a new student! She is my cousin's great aunt's twice-removed deceased vegetable retarded grandma's bingo friend's daughter's apartment client's distantly related drunkard relative's criminal incarcerated husband's autistic child's best Sunday School friend's nanny's sister's insane kid's older sister's fiancee's alcoholic mother's half-sister who lives far off in a place called Gotham. Her name is Dana! Welcome, Dana!

Oh look at her shaking people's hands already, she's so glad to be here! Also, this is her--- ugh --- absolutely disgusting fiancee called Gideon. Here he ---ugh -- is. He's a mute by the way. Say hi, Gideon!
 
What the HELL ARE YOU TAKING OUT OF YOUR SHIRT THERE, GIDEON?! WHY THE HELL ARE YOU ABOUT TO WHACK SOMEONE WITH THAT HAMMER, WHY DO YOU EVEN HAVE IT IN THE FIRST PLACE, YOU BIZARRE UGGO ASSHAT FATHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAD????????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

What the--- Gideon? Don't tell me you were about to hit Loki's little brother here, Ted. You are a complete insolence to do this, Gideon! HOW DARE YOU?! Loki, I am so sorry. Gideon is a complete lunatic, he's attacking Ted for no absolute good reason.

It's okay, Loki. I'll teach Gideon a lesson for attacking your little bro there. But, why was Gideon trying to hurt him in the first pla----

Dana --- oh no. Dana, please, it's okay. It's okay for Ted to have a small crush on you, it's not like it's MUNDO BIG---- OOOOOOH IT'S MUNDO ALRIGHT!

Don't mind those other people standing next to Ted, those are the unfavorable assistants that I will immediately kill and end the lives of after class. It's okay, they will be begone, you have nothing to worry about, me friends! ARRRRR!!!!!! Dana, don't you DARE try to turn down Ted's crush on you. In fact, he is IN LOVE with you! AHAHAHAHAAAAA!!!!! OOOOOO!!!!! I need a sundae, my harsh laughing horrified my throat! QUICK, ASSISTANT!

MMMMMMM!!!!!! HOLY MARY MOTHER OF GOD! This is HEAVEEEEEN!!!!!!

Don't tell my assistant there standing next to you what you think about my sundae, if you DARE try to make a move on my sundae, you WILL be in trouble, Dana Caldwell! And to make it worse, your punishment will be having to kiss Ted!

What did you SAY TO ME?! Note: that black thing that slapped something next to Dana there is not me. Continuing. HOW DARE YOOOOOOOOOOOOOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU?????????!!!!!!!!!!!!! TEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEED!!!!!!!!! GEEEEEET HEEEEEEEEEER!!!!!!!!!!!

That's RIGHT, Ted. GET HER! Okay, while Ted is teaching Dana her lesson, why don't we start off flying class? Ignore the terrified screams of Dana in the back there. I need someone to demonstrate the Wendiyo, the most disgusting and repulsive flying position in EVER! Loki? I choose you.

What are you looking at?

Are you. . . .spying on JANE?! STUPIIIIIIIIIIIIIIID!!!!!!!!!!!! ASSISTAAAAAANT!!!!!! GET RID OF THIS PREPOSTEROUS LOKI RIGHT NOOOOOOOOOOOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!

BAAAAAAAANG!!!!!!!!!!
Okay good, my assistant knocked out Loki with the GREAT, BIG, HAMMEEEEER!!!!!! Now, continuing. Guys, I forgot to introduce another student. Her name is Apollonia and she is very excited to be here! She came all the way from Italy, she is Mary's best friend. Welcome, Apollonia!

Your welcome, Apollonia. She is saying 'thank you' in Italian, but it's okay, she can speak English, so don't friggin' fret. Next up--- BLEGH! YEGH! UGH! BUGH! Her disgusting repugnant absolutely outlandish fiancee who Arnold and the Magic School Bus people brought in, Ralphie!

What the HELL are you DOING?! I didn't ASK YOU to start shaking your fudgy body, also, we have a rule here. A rule I created specifically for you. No tickling allowed for you, JUST YOU. I just needed to say that. But Loki here, is free to be tickle tortured any time at all. Right, Loki? *wink*

Ugh, and I forgot to introduce THIS unfortunate, hopeless, disgusting piece of crapola here! His name is Al Pacino and he is kind of on the obsessed side with Apollonia. He likes her WAY too much and is a horrific option for her because she doesn't even LIKE HIM, and for someone who doesn't exactly reside on Ralphie's good side, THAT'S saying something! Get away from Apollonia you freak! Okay, now------
 
No, NO, NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YOU CAN'T KISS APOLLONIA! SOMEBODY PLEASE STOP THIS TREACHERY NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOW!!!!!!!!! I CAN'T TAKE IT, I CAN'T! MY BREATHING IS GOING DOWN! HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEELP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
RALPHIE! OH MY GOD! LOOK WHAT YOU DID, YOU FREAK-ASS! You made Ralphie SO over the head with moving in on his girl that he swallowed a FLY! FUUUUUUUUUUUDGE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Okay, now. Let's begin class. Who knows what the Wendiyo is?

AL! DON'T YOU DARE START GETTING ALL BORED AND SLEEPY WITH MY CLASS, YOU BUMBLING BAND OF A BABOON! OTHERWISE I WILL THROW YOU OFF A FRIGGIN-ASS CLIFF AND THEN YOU WILL BE LAUGHING! Okay, now. Who can tell me what the Wendiyo is?

YOU want to explain, Christina? Okay, go ahead.

You say it's a very horrific flying position that doesn't really COUNT as a flying position but was named as one because it's the most dysfunctional, most-used, lazy, bad flying position that people use to fly all over the place and be free when they just want to slack around? Good, there could never be a better explanation.
 
Carlos! Stop getting mad at Dorothy Anne for trying to make you volunteer to do the Wendiyo, OKAY?! But no need to fret, it's not like I chose YOU to do it. You're new to this school and not good at demonstration because your head is always in the clouds and you are always eyeing one person in this room as your prize: Christina, OBVIOUSLY.  
Shut up and stop making that revolting face, Christina. No matter what you do Carlos will never stop loving you. Now SHUT UP and help me pick out a volunteer to be pushed off the very high, extremely dangerous, near-death, life-threatening, will-most-likely-die-if-the-Wendiyo-does-not-work-out-for-them cliff. And anyone care to try it out? If anyone tries to hide in the back to not be the chosen one to be pushed off the cliff, I WILL find them. Hey! I SEE you back there!

YEAH! I'm GLAD you're scared, that fear will pump the fuel into your GUTS! Now GO! KAPLAAAAAAAAAAAAAMOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I pushed Loki off guys. Can't you hear him screaming? Loki! LOKI! CONTROL YOURSELF! SPREAD YOUR ARMS OUT! LET THE WIND TAKE YOU, GLIDE YOU THROUGH THE AIR! LOKI, WATCH OUT! Oh no, OH NO! A STORM'S-A-COMIN! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! EVERYBODY EVACUATE RIGHT NOW! LOKI, LOKI, LOKI, LOKI! GET OUT OF THE SKY RIGHT NOW AND FLY DOWN HERE BEFORE YOU GET SWEPT AWAY! OH NO, HE'S ALREADY GETTING SWEPT AWAY! LOKI! NO! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOKIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Oh my Lord! This is ALL MY FAULT! If it wasn't for my outrageous stupidity, Loki would still be he---- oh wait, no. This isn't MY fault, it's YOURS! You should have STOPPED ME when you had the chance, you stupid! You KNEW I was accidentally not-knowingly leading Loki to his undeniable horrific death-ful fate! YOU ARE SO STUPID AND DESPICABLE I WILL KILL YOU! Oh no, Jane is crying. She can't believe he is actually gone.
 
What? You say you still love Loki? Wait, REALLY? But what will THOR think about this? Oh, look, WHOOPS! False alarm, people! HEHEHEEEE! He's back!

LOKI, I'M SO HAPPY THAT YOU ARE BACK! I TAKE BACK EVERYTHING I DID TO YOU! PLEASE FORGIVE ME, I, I, I, I---- Wait, are you looking at-----

Jane! Oh no, is this what I think it is? True, love? 





Whoa, LOOK! Everyone is just amazed as I am! We're so blessed that Thor is totally NOT HERE! HAH! He's right behind me, isn't he?

Thor, NO, WAAAAAAAAAAAIT!!!!!!!!!!! COME BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

THOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! OH NO! THOR IS MISSING! STUDENTS! ASSISTANTS! START LOOKING FOR HIM RIGHT NOW! THOR, PLEASE COME BACK, THOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!