Ooooh, gimme! I said GIMME! (SLAP!) Okay, I got my food. VANISH YOU STUPID CRETIN IMBECILE, I DON'T WANT TO SEE YOUR FAT RUMP ANUS HERE NO LONGER! SCRAM! Ugh. I hate my waiters, so slow and stupid in the head. I hope they get hurt.
Mmmm, let me just have my assistant scoop a cinnamon roll out for me.
Mmmmm, amazing. Just amazing. That's Heaven that is. BURP! Sorry. BURP! Sorry. BUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUURP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Jesus didn't have a light in the bathroom and tripped and fell into the toilet and Mary and Joseph tried to get him out but couldn't and ran to God for help but he was soothing in a spa and said 'WHAT?!'! Sorry, it's just that I have this habit of burping so much. Alright! Let's commence! Today we will be starting on many new amazing subjects, and one of them is Roboglinx! Remember I used to teach you guys that so much? Well perhaps I assume you have probably forgotten already how to do it. Also, you will have to be reading a very thick book called Agreesom with very, very, VERY tiny print, so you will need to use special spectacles that I keep locked up just for this one.
EVERYONE CALM THE HELL DOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOWN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Holy Mother of God! People! What in the world is the problem? It's just a little Agreesom book! Jesus Christ! You're all acting like you got SHOT! Now if I could have a student volunteer please to tell a little bit about Roboglinx to see how well they know it. Anyone? Alright then, I'll pick if no one wants to friggin' volunteer! YOU!
Yes you Ariana, and what is going on? Who is throwing that pink pixie dust on you? WHO TOOK MY SPECIAL PINK PIXIE DUST?!!!!!!!!!!! Whatever, I'll catch them later and kill them. Anyways, back to class. I would like you to recite an equation of Roboglinx, please. Let's see if you can do it.
That's right, Ariana! + = + = - += + = +=+=! Great job!
No, no, you did good. Alright, now I am going to give you guys a pop quiz to do and I expect you guys to do it. Come on!
Alright, let's see if you guys did good. Oh my GOD! Ariana got an A+, Aragorn got a F-, Frodo got a D+, Legolas got a B+, Tauriel got an A-, bla-bla-bla and yada yada yada. WAIT! Arwen got an F? Arwen, what is this? You NEVER get an F! What happened?
Arwen, stop trying to trick me that you're actually reading Agreesom and answer me! You know no one likes that book so I'm not gonna fall for that corny of a excuse. Tell me, what is going on with you?
Why are you sad? What are you hiding? Are you okay? OH MY GOD! Would you look at the time? I think our new students are about to arrive. Oh YES! HERE THEY ARE! GIVE ME A CREAM PUFF! I MUST HAVE ONE! CREAM PUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUFF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Thank you. Okay first person we're introducing is a person that is lucky-for-you NOT related to me in ANY way (not even the long distance related ones), but she is actually my nephew SeSeth's girlfriend. Her name is Skye. Oh my God, he talks about her ALL the time and he is so obsessed with her and she obsessed with him. No offence, but even though he is my own nephew, I think he's WAY too ugly for a princess angel face like her. Here she comes! Daisy Skye Chloe Johnson Bennett!
Here she is! Aren't you guys just so glad to meet her? She's so nice and so polite and so kind and no wonder SeSeth---what the dumpcaca?
Oh no, oh no, OHY NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! MICHAEL FINN WOLFHARD MILEVEN CONSTATA WHEELER! WHO IN THE HALIBUT DO YOU THINK YOU DOING? Skye is NOT for you, man! I repeat, NOT FOR YOU! She is SeSeth's girlfriend and will STAY SeSeth's girlfriend, she rightfully belongs to him and she is proud of it and loves him a lot! Right, Skye?
See? She agrees! Besides, you have Eleven, remember? What happened to her? Did she just disappear into thin air? Oh wait, I forgot, Will and Peter Pan are now stalking her. Sorry Mike. WAIT NO! NOT SORRY! What do you have to say for yourself you creepy-ass maniac dump of stupid-ass cacason turdcake?
That's right! Wait, what? You want to WHAT?! You wanna do that to Skye? HOW DO YOU EVEN KNOW THAT WORD IN THE FIRST PLACE YOU INSANE FREAK-ASS CREEP?! Skye, he said he wanted to doombasataloo you.
Oh poor Skye. STUPID MIKE! YOU might not know what doombasataloo means but I do and she does! It means something very graphic and not-to-be-told-in-public-and-kept-secret and its another one of those code names that I keep in my special book of words that I keep hidden. Don't you DARE go looking for it! WAIT SKYE, WAIT! COME BACK! HE DIDN'T MEAN IT! COME BAAAAAAAAAACK!!!!!!!!
I hope Mike didn't see that. What? You want to know what I meant? No, it's better if you don't, trust me you really don't want to. Whatever, I locked the classroom door, she has nowhere to go but stay trapped in here. Oh God, how I miss my poor nephew. Wait, what do you mean 'what happened to him'? DON'T YOU FRIGGIN-ASS REMEMBER YOU STUPID-ASS SHIT DUMP?! I can't believe you're so mean that you actually forgot what happened to SeSeth. HE IS IN A FREAKING COMA! And I miss him so much 'sob, sob'. Please help me, God. Help SeSeth live. Okay, sorry. Now, back to what was going on with Arwen. Arwen, please, what is going on? If you won't tell me, then----
MELODY! So nice to see you! Are you here to learn some more? Well, I would like you to demonstrate how to SHOW YOUR FOOT TO THE WORLD! Can you do that for me, please?
PERFECT! O+ for you! Do you know what an O+ is? An O+ means Outstanding! It's even better than an A+, not that an A+ is bad, but I gave you an O+ because you were the only one in all these years to actually demonstrate a completely perfect SHOW YOUR FOOT TO THE WORLD. And all because everyone else thought it was too "embarrassing", I mean GOD! What the hell are you even doing in this school if you can't have the courage to SHOW YOUR FOOT TO THE WORLD? That's literally what this school is all about, and if you didn't know that, then I suggest you take another look at the school's name and realize what you got yourself into, people! Okay, now Arwen, come.
Now tell me what is going on, come on.
ARWEN YOU'VE GOTTA TELL ME! OTHERWISE WE CAN'T CONTINUE THIS GODDAMN CLASS!
Hey Peter, what brings you here?
Oh no, I think I see what's going on here. Arwen is so upset because, BECAUSE! Because Charlie is in love with her. OH GOD NO! Arwen I'm so sorry I didn't know! STUPID CHARLIE! Get away from her you bastard! And because of YOUR STUPIDITY, Arwen who is a straight A student, got distracted and got a friggin' bad grade on the test! You are tormenting EVERYONE, Charlie! Every single hot sexy voluptuous girl that comes along you have to you just HAVE to get her and torment her! You're really something, Charlie. Look at Arwen, crying. Literally in a pond of tears! You broke her! Get out, I said GET OOOOOOOOOOOOUT!!!!!!!!!!! And for this horrible attitude, you have to go to tickling detention. Go, GO! GUARDS! GET HIM!
Don't you give me that sass, young man! And don't give that assistant right there next to you that kind of sass either, he works 24-7 very hard and works his ass off tackling badly-behaved students and forcing them into detention! Come on, plead! Beg for your lives! I wanna hear you SUFFER!
YEAH THAT'S RIGHT! YOU SCREAM WHILE MY ASSISTANTS SAM WINCHESTER AND DEAN WINCHESTER TAKE YOU AWAY, BRO! YEAH! AWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!! Okay, they got him. They're dragging him out. He's gone. Now, continuing class like none of this disturbing-ass stuff ever happened. So we did a little review on Roboglinx, now let's move on to learning about how to make love potions. And the reason why I mention this is because Valentine's Day was just here a couple of days ago. #GodBlessParklandVictims. The most powerful is Amortentia, it is a very extreme love potion that will smell like anything that attracts you. We will be making it today so I can see how well you guys are doing after the long break. Jim and Melody have now been assigned to Class Factotums because they are such good students, well not really because Jim is terrible, but Melody yes.
Sorry guys, I had to dismiss the class because of an emergency. One of my waiters got a heart attack and I had to go even though I TOTALLY did NOT care at ALL and I would have preferred to just stay and eat food next to a warm crackling fire while watching the Winter Olympics. Okay, class over!
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