Surprise!

Surprise, guys! Hey, that rhymes! Anyway, so guess what? On top of the fact that I am already suffering from my large wound that thing gave me, I hurt something else and now it's broken. No, not sprained, BROKEN. And all because of the stupid retards we have as assistants here! But don't worry about me, I'll be fine. I have an assistant who will help me wheel my way around SHOW YOUR FOOT TO THE WORLD. Oh, you feel sorry for me? Well that is unheard of. You know what would be really nice if you're willing to do a favor for me in the moment? ----- I'm pretty sure you are ---- get me some food. Hey, what? What? What's the problem if I want to eat a little bit once in a while? It's not like I'm gonna order a huge takeout feast or something. That would be sooooo stupid and below me. I mean honestly, come on. When have I EVER done that? So, I would like a tray of muffins, a plate of cupcakes (the big kind), a Philly cheese steak with triple cheese, a large sundae, a Midnight Mocha big sized, a huge platter of greasy, oily, deep-fried tostones, some of those classic Southern biscuits with loads of butter, a Raspberry Elegance cake, a big bowl of those zebra cakes, a load of those Little Debbie's Fancy Cakes, an colossal freshly baked warm juicy apple turnover, a Mint and a Caramel doughnut from Krispy Kreme, and last but not least, soft frosted pink cookies, and a humongous Cupcake Milkshake. Okay, I'm done. Hey, what are YOU lookin' at, dumbass? I'm sick! I deserve to have this treat! It's not even big, this is less than my regular meals. And who ever said my regular meals were a lot? NO ONE! Anyway, Regina and Landon and Wendy brought in some of their friends that they said they would like to join SHOW YOUR FOOT TO THE WORLD! Isn't that just AMAAAAZE?! Anyway, here they are!

Oh it's fine, Regina. Just show us your new friends.

Oh you say this is Emma? Well hello Emma, very nice to meet you.

Is this your BOYFRIEND, or something? Okay, this is--- okay. What am I gonna do?


Oh and these two are Belle and Rumple? Oh, that is very ni---- WHAT THE DUMP ARE YOU DOING WITH THAT KETCHUP?! PUT IT DOWN! IT'S MINE I SAY, MIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINE!!!!!!!!!!! Continuing. . . . . . .


And this is Ruby? Oh you're so pretty, and I'm a monster (sniffle) I'm okay.


Enrique, what are you doing he---- Oh no, OH NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!! GET OUT, GET OOOOOOOOOOOOOOUT!!!!!!!!!!!! RUBY IS OFF LIMITS, OFF LIMITS I SAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'VE HAD ENOUGH, I'VE HAD ENOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOUUUUUUUGH!!!!!!!!!!!!

See? Even Ruby thinks you're annoying her already. Honestly, Enrique. Just leave, JUST LEAVE. Go marry a retarded primate, who is as filthy as you are.


Yeah that's right. You get your coat and leave. You repressed freak! Ruby is untouchable, you put one finger on her and I'll overturn you, flip you into an oven, shut it, lock it, and cook you to death! So if I see you anywhere near her, you've heard my warning. Now GO!
Sorry guys, so sorry. Enrique is uncontrollable, he hits on every new girl that comes. I hope you're alright, Ruby. Right?


Okay, I'm glad to know you're doing fine. Now, who are the other students?


Oh the Blue Fairy! I love you so much, you're my favorite. Welcome to SHOW YOUR FOOT TO THE WORLD! I'm so glad you could make it. Well, that's all the students for day, let's go guys----------------

BANG!

Was that the door?


Who is that? WHO IS THAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT??????!!!!!!! IS HE A THIEF, A BURGLAR, A WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT???????!!!!!! SOMEONE TELL MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!! EMMA WATCH OUT!


Oh no, he's on top of Emma, doing something to her! I don't know what! OH NO, HE'S KISSING HER ALL OVER, HE'S TAKING OFF HER CLOTHES! I HAVE TO CALL THE DEPARTMENT OF HARASSMENT, I, I, I-----

Ooh, my food is here! Stop waving that stupid thing around and give me my freaking food you asshole! NOW GET OUT! I NEVER WANNA SEE YOUR STUPID FACE AGAIN! IT MAKES ME WANNA PUKE! Okay, he's gone. I'm good. Mmmmm, now would you look at all this?






















 Hey, they brought me two instead! I only asked for one! Nah, who cares? More for ME.



















Mmmmmm, BUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUURP!!!!!!!!! That was a delicious meal!


Excuse me? What the hell was that? You have no right to call me names, only I do. Anyway, what is even so bad? It's not like I'm eating a whole feast! It's only a little treat I served myself as a helper for my sickness, I'm SICK I deserve good food. And since you---- wait a minute? Where is Emma?


I'm feeling sick, I just said it! Now answer my question! Where is Emma? And Hook? 

Why isn't anyone saying anything? THIS IS A FRIGGIN' CONFLICT AND EVERYONE IS FRIGGIN' SILENT! FRIGGIN' TELL ME WHAT HAPPENED WHILE I WAS EATIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIING!!!!! Why doesn't anyone give a damn about me? Honestly.


THERE HE IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!! SOMEONE, GIVE ME A BAT! GIMME GIMME, NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! BAM, SWACK, BONG, BANG! (Thump to the floor)


Oh, and you're trying to get away now? I doubt you will get anywhere, we're taking you to the SHOW YOUR FOOT TO THE WORLD dungeon for being a harasser. It was just opened today, and guess what? It was opened on the RIGHT day. I never, absolutely NEVER! Want to see you near my students again, if you are, the consequences will be DEADLY!




What the freak are you talking about? Emma didn't choose you, you chose HER. And in a terrifying, destructive, harassment way! Get him out, GET HIM OUT I SAY! Okay, he's been taken away.
Emma are you okay?


It's okay, he's gone now. Just calm down and I'll get a little snack for you or something. Maybe for me too. My niece Lilith will get you something, she just joined a couple of days ago. I didn't have time to announce because I was so stupidly tired I couldn't get up from my lazy ass. Um, Lilith?


Yeah uh, can you get Emma a small cupcake or somethin'? Oh, and you can get three severely stuffed Cannolis with extra fudge dripping down the sides, and one big Churro. Got it? Okay, now get your ass out of here.

What? That food I had earlier was SO little, how can you say that I'm piling up on weight? YOU are.
Oh look, Lilith came back already.

Here's yours Emma, just let her finish decorating it. And here's mine. 

What the dumdam is this? I said THREE, you bastard! For this mistake, you are required to get me two more Churros with a large Frappuccino and a Vermonter. GO!



Yep, mmmmm, (gobble, gobble) that's GOOD! Say what now? You want some too? Oh my God, you actually think I'm gonna share? Why the hell would I do that? NO! GET OUT! I DON'T WANT TO SEE YOUR FACE! GET OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOUUUUUUUUTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!