Singing class

Good afternoon, guys. Today we are going to be having a singing class. This class will help my students improve their voice and get better, so then they can join theatre or whatever. First of all, I'd like to mention a few things. Firstly, for you new students, the cafeteria can be found right over there. You don't have to go eating wherever, it's not polite. Secondly, I don't want students coming late to my classes, whether they're new or old. It's rude and it shows no respect to me, because I'm here working hard and the least you can do is show up on time. And if not, I'm afraid you're in for the tardy sweep or detention. And you know what detention is. For boys, it's one damn tickle torture. For girls, it's just doing something like chores. Or something else that I have planned. Now, lastly, I just want everyone to know that we're constructing two new rooms. One of them is the donating room, which is where you can donate stuff to people or animals who need it and stuff like that. If you guys feel generous, you can go in there sometimes to donate needs. Alright, that's all I wanted to say. We can begin with our class now. Who here knows how to sing?

 

Nice, Charli. Since you're the only one who raised your hand, which means you're the only who can sing, can you show us a bit of that voice of yours?

 

Wow, that's tense. Nice voice, I'm loving it. Who here thinks she's an awesome singer?

Calm down, Thranduil. We all know you're IN LOVE with Charli here. But since you stepped up, why don't you show us those vocals of yours?
 Excuse me, Thranduil? If I hear you tell me 'shut up' one more time, you're going to detention. And you know what detention is, don't you? I don't think you want to experience the horrific embarrassment if you end up in detention.

Whoa, hey. What is wrong with your face? It's like opening up and it's all bony. Ew, it's blinding your eye. Thranduil, what is going on with you? Oh my god, I have to call the doctor. That looks like an avulsion, it's pretty serious.

Don't you hide that wound from me or it'll get worse. You need to go to the school hopsital asap. Thranduil, listen to me. That does not look good at all. You have to go right now. Just wait, lemme call the nurse.

Oh don't you dare try to use those sparkly eyes on me. I know what that face means. "I don't want to go to the hospital and get shots! I don't want them to fix my wound and hurt me!" You're going, young man.
 You know what? You're right. You are an elf, for goodness sake. You can handle yourself and keep in all your wounds, but you don't have to be a show-off. Now, let me pick up where I left off. What was it? Oh, yeah! Thranduil, sing for us.

Okay, stop that. STOP! STOP! STOP IT!

Listen, what I meant by singing was actually showing off your voice and hitting high notes with vibrato. Not rapping and doing these weird dance moves that don't show off any of your talent. This singing class is for actual singing, not talking and cursing with a beat in it. Who else wants to try? And this time, actually sing something decent using your voice. Like Charli did.

Why the heck are you narrowing your eyes at me with that sexy face? NO! NO! I DID NOT SAY THAT! FORGET I EVER SAID THAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Just sing, please. And next time, if you want to volunteer, raise your hand or say so. Don't give me these creepy signs.
 
Yeah, it's coming. That's really nice! Except, I think you need to work on your voice. You're not that good, but that can be fixed. Don't worry.
 U-u-u-um, SHEESH! Is it getting hotter in here or what? Or is it just the fact that Legolas is smiling right at me? Wait, um no. I don't think he is. He's probably looking at Tauriel or someone. Right? Jesus! I have to stop this right now. Legolas, I'm sorry, but I feel uncomfortable with you smiling like that at me. It makes me feel like you're doing it for some reason that you definitely are not doing it for.
 Sorry, but I can't do this. I can't break my own rules just because I might think you're a babe, which I totally don't. It's not like I think you ARE a babe. Heheh! Anyways, a teacher and a student? That can't happen, ba --- I mean Legolas. Sorry. But you can be with someone else, like Tauriel.

Oh come on, Tauriel. Don't get so depressed and sad. Legolas isn't a bad guy. I mean, just look at him. He likes you anyways, and I have inappropriate stalker pictures to prove it. 

I didn't say anything, you don't have to give me that face. And plus, you have no reason to hate Legolas. He fancies you, which you probably knew already since you overheard my whispers. Never mind what I just said, ignore it. Legolas, come over here. Have a seat with dear Tauriel.

Oh please, he's not even that bad. And why are you cut up like that? Did you have a fight with your pencil? HAHAHAAAA --- okay I guess that's not funny at all.

Tauriel, you are being extremely rude. I don't like the way you're treating Legolas, okay? That attitude has gotta change or you're going to detention. Legolas, come on. Sit down with her.
 There you go, now make yourself comfortable. Alright, guys. Let's continue on with the class. Today, we will be learning a song. It's a difficult one, I'd say. Learning it will definitely take time, but we can do it. It is called 'Think of Me' and it is sung by Christine in the famous play Phantom of the Opera. We are going to be listening to the version that Emmy Rossum sung in the 2004 movie.

Arwen, what's wrong? Why do you dislike Phantom of the Opera? It's such an amazing movie and play, it's one of my favorites. Stop crying over such stupid stuff and pay attention. So, I am going to give you guys an audio of the song. We'll then divide the song into parts and practice each part in the next class and the class after and so on and so forth and what the hell have you. Here it is.

WAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!! IT'S SO BEAUTIFUL, ISN'T IT?! IT'S SUCH A LOVELY SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Geez, I need my hankie. There we go. That's much better. Okay guys, we're going to be practicing. I will divide you into groups of one and you'll go practice separately. Whoever finishes first comes to me and sings the song to me, then the next student and so on. Whoever is the best gets to sing in the school concert that we're having. But first, since I said we would divide the song into parts, you guys will sing up until the part where she says 'things might have been'. Okay? Okay! Run along now and practice. Ugh, I'm just sitting here waiting for them to be done. WAITER!

Get the hell over here and stop wasting my time. I'm trying to teach here, you complete shitwit! Okay, so I want a strawberry mini cake with cupcakes on the side. . . 

A platter of greasy fried platanos, a plate of chocolate doughnuts, some cookies, and an Italian Cherry cream Soda. The biggest cup you have. OH! And squeeze some Swiss Rolls in there. I think I can manage. Well, what are you waiting for you idiot? Go get me my order, NOW! The slow service we have these days. Alright, guys. That's good. Just keep working on it! If you want, you can make little improvements to the song. Goodness, you're back! I guess you're not slow service after all. Here's your tip, stupid. Now get the hell out of here.

YES! YES! YES! YES!
















 

 
MMMMMM! THAT'S SO DELICIOOOOUUUUSSSS!!!!!!!! Help me, HELP ME! THIS FOOD IS CORRUPTING ME! IT'S SO DELICIOUS THAT IT'S CORRUPTING ME INSIDE! NO! No one helps me eat this. I ORDERED THIS! IT'S MINE! ALL MINE! My precious. And if someone tries to steal my food, I'll BURP! Whoops! Excuse me there, sorry about that. Ahhh, that was a filling lunch. SO! WHO'S DONE PRACTICING?!

Alright BURP! Arwen, show us what you've BURP! Got. So sorry, please excuse me. Please, begin. Don't mind me, I'll be finishing up my Italian BURP! Cherry BURP! Soda. BUUUURRRPPP!!!! What is up with me and burping? That meal wasn't even half as big as my regular ones are.

Arwen? Are you really singing?! There's no audio turned on and you're lip-syncing? WOW! THEN YOU HAVE AN AMAZING VOICE! I DIDN'T THINK YOU COULD SING SO WELL! PLEASE CONTINUE!

THINK OF ME, THINK OF ME WAKING SILENT AND RESIGNED! You are amazing, Arwen. Just amazing. I can see that you were the only one practicing, as I see no one else is. Well then, I guess that's settled. YOU ARE GOING TO SING IN THE CONCERT, ISN'T THAT WONDERFUL?!

Arwen, what's wrong? Why do you cry like this? If this is because you don't want to sing as Christine just because she's in Phantom of the Opera, then this is unhealthy. You have to stop this, okay? It's only a play, for heaven's sake! Please stop crying, Arwen. It won't make anything better. I don't know why you hate Phantom of the Opera so much, it's just not understandable! You know what? Class is over. OVER, PEOPLE! CLASS IS FREAKING OVER! JUST GO! You too, Arwen. And don't worry about the play, I'm sure you'll be great. Bye!