HAS IT BEEN THAT LONG??????????

OH MY GOD! I CAN'T BELIEVE I AM BACK AFTER ALL THIS TIME! Can you believe that it has been a whole year since you last saw me, guys? I have to admit, my vacations keep extending longer and longer every time and you just miss me more every time, am I right? I ASKED AM I RIGHT OR NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOT?????????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Sorry, so sorry. It's just you have to understand, I was trapped in that airplane coming back from the deep dark jungles of Peru for hours. That's right. I just said that. You heard it right. The Deep Dark Jungles Of Peru. And by the way, that was my by far the WORST decision I have ever made yet when it comes to vacation spots. I got attacked and ambushed by a wild, savage tribe like 8 times throughout my entire stay there and finally they caught me and I almost wound up getting cooked slowly over a roasting fire to honor the spiritual king of those cannibals! Well, I managed to take out my special, amazing purplish pinkish potion out in time that I always keep along just-in-case for last-resort oh-this-will-never-happen-but-you-never-know kind of situations and I dropped it on the ground and it created a gigantic rosy pink sparkly glittery explosion that knocked out all those crazy cannibals but it didn't knock out me because I have grown an immunity to it. Trust me, I could just use it on you right now and you wouldn't wake for hours, in fact, I could bombard the whole school right now and this would be like Sleeping Beauty's slumbering kingdom all over again. Believe me, I know what that's like, I've BEEN there. OKAY! So! Getting to the REAL stuff now, not that my trip wasn't amazing, my trips are ALWAYS amazing! Yeah, I know you're probably gonna be like 'no, NO! NO MORE STUDENTS OR DISTANTLY RELATED STUDENTS'! But I don't give a poopcaca what you think! Get ready, for I have brought a new student from far, far, away that is so special and amazing, the WHOLE WORLD KNOWS HEEEEEEEEER!!!!!!! SHE IS, JULIET CAPULET OF VERONAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
 
Oh look at her! So excited to start school! Also, she's trying to explain her relation to me but I'll save her the struggle. I shall take the burden of the long-ass explanation. So she's my long-time-missing-thought-to-be-dead crazy retarded autistic cousin's fat daughter-who-escaped-to-the-hinterlands's ugly freak circus baby's criminal friend's waiter buddy's long-time-no-see-bad-actor-escaped-from-jail-friend's health nurse's neighbor's kid's school librarian's banker friend's obese close childhood best friend's thrice-removed niece that lives in Verona! Well, aren't you completely AMAZED?! Also, she looks a lot like one of my older students, Kermy. Remember her? I doubt you do because you're so stupid and despicable it makes me want to throw myself off a cliff! So now, I have some more friends for you to meet! And they also came to this school because they want to be students here and learn AMAZING CRAPOLA! I present to you, GWEN STACY!!!!!!

Look how friendly she is! I can't wait for all of you guys to make friends AND NOT BE MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAN!!!!!!! Sorry, "cough", I tend to have temper tantrums like that, they just break out of nowhere, I honestly don't even know, HAH! Her boyfriend couldn't make it by the way, his name is Fernando and he got hit on the head by some Spider person I honestly don't even KNOW! Sorry, why I am repeating crap all the time? Juliet was dating Gideon, you remember him, because Dana dumped him to be with Ted, if that was that kid's name. Whatever, I don't freaking care. Here is the rest of my amazing NEW STUDENTS!

This is Romeo, look at him, he is so paralyzed from amazement of this school. And because I'm such a good-ass teacher!

This is Isadora, don't talk to her, she just went through a terrifying experience as we were passing through this creepy place and some CREEPY-ASS guy kidnapped her and we didn't see her for like--- you know what? I'm getting off topic, no one needs to hear about that kind of crap. Besides, I saved her, so who cares what happened? I'm the awesome part of it all. Without me, no one would be here.

COUNT OLAF! I'm so sorry, this is Isadora's boyfriend, he claims that he thinks all of the students are monsters and that he won't be able to befriend them, well LISTEN UP BROTHER, YOU WILL MAKE FRIENDS WITH THEM OR ELSE! OR SOMETHING VERY BAD WILL OCCUUUUUUUUUUUUUUR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

This is Giselle, she is super excited to be in this school! WHOOPS! Sorry, she brought her whole entire crew of animal friends, she can introduce them to my pets that I love so much! By the way, her boyfriend Zini happens to be among my group of pets, I know, it's complicated. BUT DEAL WITH IT! Oh my dumpcaca poopness, what is wrong with me today? Well, those are all the people we have---- WAIT! COMEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEET!!!!!!!!!! EVERYBODY OUT OF THE WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


Oh my God---EGH! IS EVERYBODY-- EGH --- OKAY -- -EGH! What the--- who the DUMPDAMN IS THAT?!

WHY ARE YOU YELLING AT ME, YOUNG MAN?! I DOMINATE YOU!!! I DOMINATE THE EARTH! FEEL MY WRATH! RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!! WHERE'S MY GUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUN????????????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! IMPOSTOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOR!!!!!!!!!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!
 
WHAT ISADORA?! SPEAK UP! SPEAK UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUP!!!!!!! What? You say this monstrosity is your BROTHER?! And that he has been missing for THREE YEARS?! WHAAAAAAAAAAAAT???!!!!! Are you sure? Alright then, I take your word for it. Say, what's your name, young lad?

Quigley Duncan? That's a STUPID-ASS NAME! IT'S THE STUPIDEST NAME I EVER HEARD IN MY ENTIRE LIFE! BWAAAAAAAAAAAAHWAHWAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!! It's like a pooped up version of "Mary Jane"! HWAHWAAA!

Oooooh, someone doesn't like Quigley Duncan. Are you UNCOMFORTABLE, Juliet? Awww, that's too bad.

QUIGLEY DUNCAN LIKES HEEEER!!!! Or shall I say, in love with her? Ladies and gentlemen, I believe love is in the air! You know, for ONCE, I support a crazy-comes-out-of-nowhere-comes-shooting-out-of-the-sky guy with one of my distantly related nieces or something crapped up like that. Wait, Quigley Duncan said that he comes from a far off land called Lemony Land? That's the stupidest crap I've EVER heard. And Isadora says she wants us to take him in? Sure thing! Absolutely!

YES IT'S HAPPENING, AND I DON'T UNDERSTAND WHY YOU LOOK SO MOTHERFREAKING SURPRISED ABOUT IT, JULIET CAPULET OF VERONA! IT'S NOT THAT SHOCKING! HE IS JUST A POOR, LITTLE BOY WHO DOESN'T HAVE A MOTHERFREAKING HOME AND I AM MOTHERFREAKING TAKING HIM IN JUST BECAUSE THAT'S THE KIND OF PURE GOODNESS I HAVE IN MY HEART! So, without further ado, why don't you quit the anxiety attack and start respecting Quigley Duncan, also you can give him a tour of the school, even though you don't want to. OKAY! I'm off to get a VERY BIG DELUXE BEVERAGE that I will SLURP DOWN all, by, my, SEEEEEEEEEELF!!!!!!!!