Poetry & Story-Telling Time Class!

HELLOOOO!!!! HAPPY LUNCH TIME!!!! And yes! I DID just come up with a new class that has an extremely long and fancy name that I came up with myself! And yes, this year SHOW YOUR FOOT TO THE WORLD is bombarding with thousands of new classes popping EVERYWHERE! And plus, this is probably going to be Isadora's FAVORITE class, since I KNOW she absolutely LOVES and ADORES poetry! Am I right, Isadora?

I know! I see my assistant there is telling you how you just used a couplet that Ogden Nash used in his work and that you READ all of his work, SPLENDID! 

YOU WHAT?! WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY, COUNT OLAF?! YOU'RE NOT HANDSOME, YOU'RE NOT TALENTED, YOU WILL MOST DEFINITELY NOT TAKE MONEY FROM MY BANK ACCOUNT OF GOLDEN GALLEONS IN GRINGOTTS, AND YOU ARE MOST DEFINITELY, NOT, HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANDSOOOOOOOOOOOOOME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YOU LOOK LIKE A DEFLATED FAT-ASS MOTHERSUCKING, CRINGEY-ASS, CRINGEWORTHY GOBLIN WHO SUFFERS FROM HALITOSIS AND HEPATITIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YOU'RE SO CRINGEY I NEED BLEACH TO BLEACH OUT MY EYES AND EARS!!!!!!! PHEWGH! I absolutely LOVE how I can come up with the best insults and roasts on the spot! I'm the RULER of THAT! Also, last night I picked up two more students from the magical airport of battleships. The first one who is WAY more important than the next, is KRISTINA ROMANOVAAAAA!!!!!!!!!! Cheer for her guys, she's a RUSSIAN MODEL! And one of my other distantly related nieces. AHEM!

I KNOW what you're gonna say. SHOW YOUR FOOT TO THE WORLD is the BEST PLACE YOU HAVE EVER SEEN IN YOUR ENTIRE LIFE!!!!!! Thank you for letting me clear up EXACTLY how you are feeling. Isn't she just AMAZING everyone? (Cough, cough!) Who's that coughing? Definitely not ME. Oh ew, here comes her disgusting, cringeworthy, coughing-all-over-the-place-and-never-goes-to-the-medic-to-get-his-cough-checked-on, gross-ass, grossom, grotesque, makes-me-wanna-bleach-my-eyes-out, repugnant, repulsive, revolting fiancee who is a banker called Mr. Poe. EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEWWW!!!!!!!!!!!!! HERE HE COOOOOOOOOOOOOMES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!! BLEEEEEEEEEEEEACH!!!!!!!!! I NEED BLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEACH!!!!!!!!!!!!!! RIGHT THIS INSTAAAAAAANT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! CRIIIIIIIIIIIINGE!!!!!!!!!
I absolutely HATE him. DESPISE him. LISTEN UP, POE! IF YOU EVEN THINK, NO, EVEN IF IT HAPPENS TO BE AN ACCIDENT, END UP COUGHING IN MY FACE, YOU'RE DEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Okay, now that we've cleared up how disgusting and outlandish and SICK Mr. Poe is and how he is definitely NOT SUITED for Kristina, let's get started with class. Also, Seaweed returned from the inside of SHOW YOUR FOOT TO THE WORLD'S walls. I stuffed him in one last year and then covered it up with cement because he was just pissing the hell out of me with all his stalking after Princess Fiona, so I did that and got rid of him for a year, which means he has been wandering through the insides of all of SHOW YOUR FOOT TO THE WORLD's walls for a YEAR! Ugh, THAT must have been claustrophobic. Well, long story short, I was eating a HUGE bowl of unhealthy cereal one afternoon, and I heard a knock on the wall. I jumped and almost died because I choked but saved myself, that part of the story doesn't matter. I knocked back. Then whatever was inside of the wall knocked again. I got angry that it was trying to OVER-KNOCK me so I grabbed a chair and threw it at the wall in frustration as my high blood pressure burst to uncontrollable levels, and guess what happened next? The wall COMPLETELY destructed and fell apart, revealing a dusty, starving Seaweed on the inside. I know what you're thinking, and yes, I did NOT feel sorry for him at all and did NOT regret my actions in any way. He deserved it. And that's what happens when you mess with me and keep stalking my distantly related nieces. Family protects family, even if it means taking EXTREME measures. Anyways, I absolutely did NOT rush him to the hospital, took my own sweet time if you know what I mean: finished my bowl of cereal at an everyday, normal pace, then took a stroll down to the hospital and forced him to walk himself. I don't CARRY people, I don't do ANYTHING for ANYONE. Anyway, he just recovered completely yesterday and he's back on his feet. He's gonna join us today in class. Okay, that's the whole story, now you know what happened to him. What? What's that face you're giving me? He deserved it.
Ugh, I guess I have to introduce this STUPID STUDENT. I ABSOLUTELY HATE FROZEN STUDEEEEEEEEEEEEEENTS!!!!!!! I remember I killed the last one, Philippe, who thought it was okay to hit on Ariana, and so I killed him. Remember my motto from my previous Seaweed story: Family protects family, even if it means taking EXTREME measures. UGH! I HATE THIS FROZEN STUDENT SO MUCH, I JUST WANNA BREAK HIS FACE! I WANNA BREAK HIM EMOTIONALLY AND PHYSICALLY UNTIL HE CAN'T MOVE BECAUSE ALL THE BONES IN HIS BODY WILL BE BROKEN! RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
He's so ugly I just wanna smash something nearby. THERE'S AN ASSISTANT! SMAAAAAAAAAAASH!!!!!!!!! Okay, I threw a table at that assistant who so desperately tried to escape with their dear life and they're decapitated now. I feel SO much better now. I love killing my assistants and hurting-them-so-bad-they-will-probably-die-in-a-few-days-time. Anyways, this idiot-ass cringeworthy poopdungpile of CRAPOLA here is Peter Parker. Yes, I know we've had other Spidermans attend SHOW YOUR FOOT TO THE WORLD before BUT THIS ONE IS DIFFERENT HE IS FROM ANOTHER DIMENSIOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (Breathing heavily) Just LISTEN for once before you ASSUME, GOD! Now I have to catch my breath all over again! JESUS CHRIST! Oh hey Gwen, nice of you to come early to class, I was just introducing this ugly-ass, mothersucking, pile of rotten poop to the class. He's ANOTHER new student and he's freaking FROZEN because of NO REASON! I JUST WANNA KILL HIM ALREADY, WHY IS NOBODY FETCHING ME A GUN?! I ABSOLUTELY HATE FROZEN PEOPLE! And no one needs to know what happened to the last one, Nu Shto. It's not like I dismembered him or something, it's not like I did that while Belle wasn't looking so she wouldn't hate me and I plan on never telling her and making up a not-HUGE-ASS-but-little-white-lie about how Nu Shto left forever on a trip with another woman because he is a seriously sick-ass CHEATER! Anyways, yeah, it's not like that happened while all of you guys were asleep and that I always secretly murder frozen people in their sleep so no one knows what happened to them the next day and I can have them out of my life forever and I can continue my happy, food-filled, waiter-assassinating life without them. Okay, back to YOU, Gwen. In his own frozen way, Peter wants to say hi.

What? WHAT?! STOP LYING! I KNEW IT! I KNEW IT! YOU HATE HIM MORE THAN I DO, AND HE'S STANDING RIGHT NEXT TO YOU BECAUSE THAT IS NOT ME THERE! HOW CAN YOU ALREADY HATE HIM?! YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW HIM YET YOU STUPID WIMPY-ASS DISRESPECTFUL GIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIRL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Look at him, he's in TEARS because of how you literally just LIED in his face right now. Poor Peter. GWEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEN!!!!!!!!!! I OUGHTTA FLOG YOU WITH MY BIG-ASS EXTRA-LARGE WHIP I ORDERED YESTERDAY WHEN I WAS WHIPPING JULIET FOR DISRESPECTING DUNCAN RIGHT BEFORE BEDTIME! Oops, I mean, I DIDN'T do that. That's just a funny metaphor I came up with right now. And yes it IS funny, why is it NOT?! YOU'RE NEEEEEEEEEEEEEXT!!!!!!!! MY WHIP, MY WHIP, SOMEONE GIMME MY WHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I've had just about enough attitude from YOU! And YES, I am not talking to any of my other students, I am not talking to Gwen, I am most definitely not talking to MYSELF because that would be CRAY-CRAY, I'm talking to YOU! The person watching all this. YEAH YOU! The person who was with me from the very beginning of SHOW YOUR FOOT TO THE WORLD! All of this bad stuff that is happening is all because of YOU! YOU AND YOUR BAD KARMA! GET OUT! Actually stay, the lesson is starting. GWEN! IMMA DEAL WITH YOU LATER! RIGHT NOW YOU GET YOUR BUTT OVER THERE AND SIT NEXT TO PETER AND TREAT HIM WITH THE FROZEN RESPECT HE DESERVES OR IMMA GET MY WHIP FOR REAL THIS TIME! Besides, I ship you two and once I ship a ship that ship will never sink it will always SAIL! Oh my God, look at me everyone, ESPECIALLY Isadora, I'm a POET NOW! I CAN MAKE UP POETRY ON THE SPOT! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!! I'M AMAZIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIING!!!!!!!!!! AND YOU ALL ARE BELOW ME! MWAHWAHAHA!!!!!!!!!! Okay, let's start with magical poems. So sorry I delayed the whole class by an extra-long fifteen minutes of screaming, Isadora, please forgive me, you're always such a good student, honey.

I know you're so happy, and looking at my assistant there standing in front of you is making you EVEN HAPPIER! Because that's not me like it always is not, and that's the way it will ALWAYS BE!

What is it? WHAT'S WRONG?! Oooooh, I see. Time ran out for class and you guys are definitely NOT blaming ME, because if you did your life would be at risk. Always keep in mind that I always have a secret gun with me at all times that I can use to shoot anyone who gets out of order. GOT IT?! Okay, everyone looks like they got it, obviously since they are all trembling from fear, even that frozen-ass, cringey-ass that makes me wanna kill myself! Anyway, since we couldn't do the lesson I have the enchanted poetry book here that is filled of magical poems, stories, tales, and fables of all kinds that we will read, interpret, and analyze next class for a GRADE! EEEEEEEEEEGH!!!!! Huh?

WHO THE DUMP-DAMN DARES INTERRUPT THE LAST 5 MINUTES OF MOTHERSUCKING CLAAAAAAAAAAASS???????!!!!!!!!!! YOU'RE DEAD I TELL YOU, DEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

WHAT?! SEAWEED?! My, my, do YOU look excited to be back on your feet! And you grew a beard after being so long in those walls, oops! Not MY fault! LET'S GO, WE ONLY HAVE FREAKING 5 MINUTES AND I DON'T KNOW WHY YOU'RE SO LATE I WILL BEAT YOU UP ABOUT IT LATER CAUSE WE GOTTA INTRODUCE THIS EXTREMELY IMPORTANT MAGICAL-ASS BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOK!!!!!!!!!!!

WHAT?! Uh-oh, I think Seaweed likes KRISTINAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!! WELL I SAY NO, SEAWEED, NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YOU ALREADY DID THIS TO FIONA! DO YOU REALLY WANT ME TO LOCK YOU UP IN THOSE WALLS AGAIN?! OR THIS TIME, MAYBE IN A CAGE DOWN IN A DEEP DARK TUNNEL????!!!!!! NO! NO I SAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! HERE'S THE BOOK EVERYONE, PAY ATTENTIOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Isn't it just so absolutely BEAUTIFUL and DAINTY?! And yeah, I KNOW it only says 'Magical POETRY' but it really means poetry with a bunch of other stuff mixed in like stories and fairy tales! YOU GOT ME?! Okay it looks like you got me. So anyway, truth is I have NO IDEA WHATSOEVER who the AUTHOR is, because I just found this special magical mysterious curiosity-enchanting book in a BEWARE-DO-NOT-GO-IN-HERE mausoleum crypt that had pink magical glow coming from inside of it with tempting sparkles and glitter and magic and I went in and there was a warning note written by some perhaps-creature that said: DO NOT UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES STEAL THIS BOOK OR EVEN TOUCH IT OR YOUR LIFE WILL BE IN DANGER AND THOSE AROUND YOU, LEAVE NOW AND NEVER LOOK BACK EVER AGAIN! FORGET ABOUT THIS PLACE FOREVER! But that's probably just some kind of a silly stupid-ass joke, AM I RIGHT?! BWAHWAHWAHWAHWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!! I'm honestly not gonna get cursed, YOU ARE! I hope you do, honestly. Anyways, this is the book we're reading next class. OKAY CLASS IS OVEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! And I'm off to bed, HWAMPOAPKDOKS!!!!!! That was my yawn, DON'T JUUUUUUUUUUUDGE IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIT!!!!!!!!!!! Oh and right before bed, I'm gonna eat my usual right-before-bed-to-help-me-sleep-and-have-my-stupid-assistants-tuck-me-in-who-will-die-tomorrow-if-they-do-not-tuck-me-in-the-right-way dreamy magical smooth soft delicious celestial fairy-like divine sweet sugary cherubic angelical angelic milky creamy rich drink called the Malasuya! It's SOOOOOOOOOOOOO good. I'm just falling asleep just thinking about it. . . .

Snooooooooooooooooooooooore, snooooooooooze. . . . .

Enchanting Class!

Hey guys! I know what you're thinking. Isn't Enchanting Class the exact same thing as Magical Class? WELL IT'S NOOOT! WHOOPS! Sorry, this class happens to be a fortune-telling class, mixed with a couple of other CRAPOLA. Also, I hired some assistants to help me if you don't mind. I mean, why I am asking why you mind, you don't deserve to have an opinion in this YOU CAKESNIFFER!!!

HEY GUYS! Oh I see your happy, excited faces! You just can't WAIT for this AMAZING NEW CLAAAAAAASS!!!! GOSH! I need to get on my meds pretty quick, otherwise I will be all over the place, I might even pull the trigger of my gun and accidentally kill someone if I don't watch it. Everyone is SO excited-ass for this, am I right? Oh, and here's one of my new assistants, Lestat. Say sayonara, Lestat! Everybody, say sayonara to Lestat! SAYONARA, LESTAT!

Oh yeah, he just wants you guys to know that you will become accustomed to the magical lessons and you will learn it so quickly you will be intellectual magical champions! Also, WARNING: Lestat is a bloodsucking, bloodthirsty vampire. No worries at all. If you worry and try to block him out of your life and avoid him, I will end you. Got it? All agreed? Okay, moving on.
 Alright, so let's start off with a pre-quiz about what you know about incantations and magical CACACRAPOOP and stuff like that. So, what is the name of a hybrid that is born when you cross an Angelic Wish-Granting Dove with a Devil Bad Luck Raven? Take a moment to think about it, this may be material we have not covered yet. 

Wait guys, Giselle is saying something intellectual! What is it, Giselle? Oh, you have the answer to the question? Everybody listen, Giselle is explaining it! She says the hybrid would be called a Light Star-Crossed Avifauna. That was a really good question, it tested your IQ. Giselle, I have to say, I am SUPER-DE-DUPER impressed, I did not even EXPECT anyone in this room to know the answer to that question, but you just fired back with that AWESOME INFORMATION!
KNOCK! KNOCK! OY, LESTAT! Get the door, we have a LATE-ASS STUDENT!

GWEN?! WHAT?! (Also, note: that black face is not me there, that is Lestat and he looks black because the darkness of the room is shining on him, that's not me and if you keep thinking it is I will hurt you)
 
QUIGLEY?! WHY ARE YOU GUYS SO MOTHERFREAKING LAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAATE??????????????!!!!!!!!!!!
LESTAT OUGHTTA WHIP YOUR BUTTS!!! Alright, I need a volunteer to kill up here. JUST KIDDING! What I meant was severely-demonstrate-a-life-threatening-experiment-of-magic-on-volunteer. Anyone up for it?

STOP TRYING TO HIDE, YOU MOTHERFREAKER! I MADE MY DECISION! I'M USING YOU AS THE TEST SUBJECT OF MY EXPERIMENT! EVERYBODY GRAB HIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIM!!!!!! Uh, Lestat? While they are horrendously trapping Romeo to harm him, can you get me a VERMONSTER?! GOT IT?! Okay. WHIP CRACK! Okay, Lestat is getting my Vermonster.

ARE YOU READY?!!!!

Yeah you BET YOU'RE SCARED!

Now, now, Juliet, don't get all overdramatic. Honestly, you're acting like a drama queen, Romeo is gonna be 100% absolutely fine! Or maybe 99%, but THAT'S NOT THE POINT! Plus, let's make it clear that that's not me there caressing you but Duncan, that's what we're calling Quigley Duncan now, because calling him Quigley Duncan is too much for me.

Oh my God, I know right? It's so funny the way I'm about to blow up Romeo! HAHAHAHAAAA!!!!!!!

WAHOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!! I JUST LOVE WATCHING SOMEBODY BLOW UP WHILE I'M EATING POPCORN, AIN'T I RIGHT?!!!! HAHAAA!!!! Okay, lemme give you that pre-quiz that I never gave you. Before I do that, I COMPLETELY forgot a student on the airplane!

This is Olivia, hey what are you telling me? Don't you use that bad language on me, young lady. It's not my fault that I have so many students in this school that I forgot ONE FREAKING STUDENT on the goddamn airplane! Now shut up and start socializing with your new classmates and befriend them while you watch me blow up this student volunteer named Romeo who completely volunteered out of his own free will and I did NOT whatsoever force him up here to go through an experiment that could potentially end his life.

Oh excuse my other assistant, Olivia. His name is Jimmy and he is a little "out there", don't mind me saying, basically loony. He's telling you that he loves you, because you are standing right there next to him and you look like you have blonde hair even though you really don't. But Jimmy is just pointing out how he thinks you're hot and basically the love of his life.

Ooh, he's already going in! Sorry that you have to experience that kind of relationship with the stupidest of my assistants, Olivia, but he likes you and once that happens in this school there is no turning back. So, let's see the result of Romeo.

Oh LOOK! HOW MAGNIFICENT! THIS is what we concocted after frying up Romeo in that magical explosion from the potion I have here called: Infricinua. Lemme read da labels. Uh-oh.

Okay, I know it sounds KINDA bad. But it's really not. "It's like jelly beans hidden in cauliflower", like my Old-Ass Grandpabby Poopla used to say whenever something bad happened like me not getting the deluxe pizza I ordered on time. So basically it says here on the label on the back: CAUTION: SUPER DANGEROUS, IF USED ON LIVING BEINGS IT CAN PROBABLY ROAST THEM UP AND KILL THEM, UNLESS YOU ARE 1% LUCKY AND MANAGE TO TURN THEM INTO SOME OTHER LIVING BEING WITHOUT THEM DYING. Oh, well I didn't see that on the bottle. Probably because I usually NEVER read the instructions labels on the back, that's too boring and time-consuming, and plus, I HATE reading. I'd rather shoot someone instead.

Oh sorry about my other student, Violet Incredible. She came late and she is so angry because she came late for class, also she is upset because I have this substitute teacher that I hired for when I'm off on my LONG-ASS TRIPS. His name is Tony and he recently has developed too deep of an interest in her and she's freaked out.

TONY! LOOK UP RIGHT NOW! Yeah, it's me tapping your book that you are reading so you stop reading it and freaking look up at me! Hey everyone, this is your substitute teacher Tony Patony that will be teaching you crapola while I am gone off on one of my trips, but that won't be happening any time soon, but he will still be acting as an extra side teacher in my classes. Basically another one of my assistants. And Violet, I want you to RESPECT HIM! RESPETO! GOT IT?!

No? ARE YOU TELLING ME NO?! NOOOOOOOOOO?!!!! WELL I SAY NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!! YOU WILL RESPECT HIM OR I WILL MAKE SOMEONE REALLY BAD HAPPEN IN THIS ROOM! YOU GOT THAT?! GOT IIIIIIIIIIT???!!! OKAY! Oh God, I need to take a big-ass breath otherwise my blood pressure will go up and I'll be dead. KAZOOM! HAHA!

Oh I forgot to introduce these guys! Gosh, I'm forgetting so much crap today! What the dumpdam is wrong with me? Okay everyone, this is Astrid and Hiccup and they come SUPER DE DUPER far away from a land called Berk. What a stupid name. It's so stupid I want to throw something at someone. Who came up with the name Berk? It's not even epic in any kind of way possible! I honestly hope your home gets burned down to smithereens, guys, no offense, but the name just bothers me so much I just want it motherfreaking GONE! Okay, sorry about my tantrum. So now while Romeo is being taken to the hospital by my stupid assistants and Juliet is crying her eyes out, I'm going to continue the lesson even though I always create pandemonium every first 5 minutes of class. So here's the pre-quiz, do it you guys. And then we can get started on the REAL-ASS lesson!

What? You think it looks hard? SHUT UP! DO IT! And I EXPECT AN A+ OR 100%! GOT IT???!!! GOOD! GOOOO!!!!! I set the timer, you only have 20 seconds, HAH! Just kidding, you have 3 minutes! One minute on each question!

\
OH MY GOD CALM DOWN! I SAID I WAS KIDDIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIING!!!!!!!!!!! EGH! EGH! Now look what you did you idiots, your stupid faces made me cough so hard I almost DIED! Honestly! Not you, Isadora, I meant stupid Duncan!

Ugh, stupid Nasri! You're so late! And you're so disgusting too! STOP SINGING AND DO THE WORK YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO DO AS A GODFORSAKEN ASSISTANT! Set the timer for me, it's too far away and I don't wanna move. Also Isadora, Nasri likes you. So don't get alarmed if he kisses you without permission.
Alright, Nasri set the timer, GO, GO, GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!! You have 3 MINUTES!



I SAID YOU HAVE 3 MINUTES! WHY ARE YOU GUYS ALL SO FREAKING TERRIFIED ABOUT THIS?! GWEN, DO YOUR PRE-QUIZ, AND ALL THOSE OTHER IDIOT-ASSES AROUND YOU ARE MY ASSISTANTS WHO ARE BEING IDIOTS AND LOOKED TERRIFIED AS WELL EVEN THOUGH THEY DON'T EVEN HAVE TO DO THIS FRIGGIN' QUIZ! IMMA SHOOT THEM WITH MY BEEBEE GUN!!!!! RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!
1. . .
2. . .
3. . .
OKAY! TIME'S UP! TURN IN YOUR MOTHERFRIGGIN' QUIZZES AND IF I SEE YOU TRYING TO RUN OFF AND CHEAT THEN I WILL WHIP YOU AND FLOG YOU AND END YOOOOOOOOOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Okay, lemme see. . . . .

GWEN! How amazing! You ACED your pre-quiz! An A+! WOW! You are SO ready for this class, Gwen! Also, note to all: this pre-quiz counts for your grade, it is not a pretest, that is why it is called a PRE-QUIZ, and so it counts for your grade. So you BETTER have gotten a good grade on this, no, not good, a PERFECT GRADE, because this is motherfreaking EASY-ASS MATERIAL that you should freaking know by heart! It's not like some kind of bizarre, out-of-this-world, outlandish material that I picked up from the depths of some magical, enchanted scary deep dark forest that no one knows about because I am ALWAYS going on those kinds of scary-ass, dangerous-ass, life-threatening, magical missions and trips! OH MY GOD I NEED TO CATCH MY BREATH!!!!! Also, I want to introduce my SUPER DISTANTLY RELATED NIECE that I will explain the relation-to-me later because I am TOO LAZY right now! Actually, it's not laziness, I am just a very hardworking persona. HAH! Okay, here she comes!

Yeah, I know you can't see her face but I FORBID you to see her! Plus, she is kind of shy, I never let her out of the house. Also, I'M OVERPROTECTIVE! Her name is Amanda. So yeah, she is gonna also join the school and become a student here. Everyone is allowed to see her face except YOU YOU DUMBASS JACKASS POOP-COVERED CACASON CRAP-ASS DUNGBALL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Uh-oh. Amanda is in trouble. Guys, I think Lestat is interested in her, in fact, I think he is IN LOVE WITH HER! You know? I don't think I'm against it, but once again, Lestat IS a bloodsucking vampire, so maybe I should keep an eye on him. This love could be for the WRONG REASON. YOU KNOW WHAT?! I changed my MIND! LESTAT, LEAVE MY NIECE ALOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Just so you KNOW, Lestat, Amanda has a FIANCEE! That is why she is wearing this golden dress right now, it indicates that she is ENGAGED! AND HER FIANCEE HAS A NAME, AND HIS NAME IS HAMMY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! HAMMY COME OOOOOOOOUT!!!!!!!!!!!

YEAH IT WAS OUT LOUD YOU FREAKING STUPID IDIOT!

Oh please, you're the STUPIDEST thing I've seen YET! And get with it, I call EVERYONE in this school STUPID or something even worse at some point! So yeah, you're not the only one, GET WITH THE PROGRAM! You just need time to get adjusted to my FREAKING-ASS SYSTEM! Just kidding, no one gets time, I just force it upon them. Also, I don't only refer to my students as stupid, I also go far worse than that, so get ready for triple-self-esteem-degrading names I have toppled on my LONG-ASS LIST OF SELF-WORTH DEGRADING NAMES!!!!!!!! Okay, now that THAT'S OVER! LESTAT STOP EYEING MY NIECE CREEPILY AND DO YOUR JOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOB!!!!! SHE HAAAAAAAATES YOU!!!!!

Oh look who's back! Christina! How's everything? Wanna help me finish grading these pre-quizzes? Yes? Okay! Let's do it! SHEEEEEEEEEEEEEESH!!!!!!!! WHO? WHAT? AN FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF???????????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! DUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNCAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

NO! DO NOT GIVE ME THAT FACE! I SWEAR TO GOD! I WILL TEAR YOU APART, QUIGLEY DUNCAN QUAGMIRE! YES! THAT IS RIGHT! I KNOW YOUR LAST NAME, YOU PILE OF POOOOOOOOOOOOOP!!!!!!!!!!!! HOW DARE YOU GET AN F ON THE PRE-QUIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIZ??????!!!!!!!!!!!!

DON'T YOU EVEN TRY TO RUN AWAY! ALL OF THESE ANSWERS ARE SO STUPID! YOU'RE NOT EVEN TRYING! LOOK, LOOK I SAY! THE LAST ONE IS A TRICK QUESTION, EVERYONE KNOWS THAT BUT YOU! BANDERSNATCH POISON ISN'T EVEN REAL! DID YOU NOT HEAR IN ALICE IN WONDERLAND? THE BANDERSNATCH HEALED ALICE'S WOUND WITH ITS SALIVA! IT DOES NOT HAVE POISOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOON!!!!!!! (Breathing heavily) Oh my God, I FAINTED last class from ALL THE PRESSURE YOU IDIOTS GIVE ME! That is NOT happening AGAIN! And don't you EVEN TRY TO ESCAPE! YOU THINK I WON'T EMBARRASS YOU IN FRONT OF EVERYONE ELSE IN THE CLASS?! YOU ARE WRONG, LAD!


ARE YOU MAKING FUN OF HIM, JULIET?! BECAUSE I'M NOT IN A VERY GOOD MOOD RIGHT NOW, YOUNG LADY! YOU KNOW WHAT?! JUST, I, I NEED A, A, A--- You know what? For this horrific attitude, I command you to kiss Duncan. AND NO BUTS ABOUT IT!

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! NO CRYING! DO IT! MAYBE THAT WAY YOU WILL STOP LAUGHING AT PEOPLE JUST BECAUSE YOU THINK THEY ARE STUPID OR YOU HAVE A FRIGGIN' HIGHER IQ THAN THEM! DO IIIIIIIIIIIIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!

YEAH YOU BET YOU HAVE TO FEEL THAT DISGUSTING TASTE ON HIS LIPS! THAT'S ROTTEN CHEESE, CHEESE I SAY!

YEAH THAT'S RIGHT! DUNCAN JUST ATE A WHOLE BUNCH OF THAT! JUST THAT! CHEEEEEEEEEEEEESE!! FEEL THE WRATH OF CHEEEEEEESE!!!! Ooh, that would make a good song! CHEESE, CHEESE, LADIDADA! WHOA! Am I getting off topic! What was I doing? Oh yeah, anyway. The rest of the grades are already in the portal for you, and that's right, it's not just any NORMAL ONLINE gradebook. It's an actual magical portal that you leap into that is your own personal one and you have all your grades flying around and they are sparkly and glittering and shimmering with magic. That's right, Duncan, you already have an F floating around in there. Well, anyway, the rest of the pre-quizzes, here are the grades 'cause I AM TOO LAZY TO SHOW THEM ALL TO YOU! IMMA YELL THEM OUT!
Giselle: A+
Hiccup: D
Astrid: A+
Juliet: C
Duncan: F
Gwen Stacy: A+
Romeo: (inactive)
Olivia: A+
Jimmy: A+
Violet: A+
Tony: A+
Isadora: A+
Nasri: C
Amanda: A+
Hammy: D
Christina: A+
Lestat: F
Also, if you see the assistants and Tony who is a substitute with grades on the pre-quiz is because I ALWAYS treat my assistants and substitutes like my students so when I am gone on vacation or something my assistants and substitutes already know all the material and can teach it to you guys who are my precious-JUST-KIDDING-YOU'RE-STUPID-STUDENTS! LESTAT AND NASRI! WHY DO YOU HAVE SUCH BAD GRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAADES??????!!!!!! YOU ARE FRIGGIN-ASS ASSISTANTS THAT ARE SUPPOSED TO BE GETTING 100% ON ALL THE MATERIAL! YOU'RE GONNA BE POTENTIALLY COVERING IT IN CLASS WHILE I'M AWAY ON MY MIGHT-POTENTIALLY-HAPPEN MOTHERFREAKING VACATIOOOOOOOOOOOOOOON!!!!!!! Was it because you two were staring at Amanda and Isadora with googly lovey eyes instead of WORKING FOR AN A+ ON THAT PRE-QUIZ LIKE YOU WERE SUPPOSED TOOOOOOOO????????!!!!!!!!!! I SWEAR! IF I CATCH YOU TWO EVEN TRYING TO EXCHANGE A GLANCE AT THEM, IF I EVEN SEE A TWITCH OF THE EYEBALL, IF I THINK THAT YOU ARE EVEN THINKING ABOUT HOW MUCH YOU ARE IN LOVE WITH THEM WHICH I WILL FIND A WAY EVEN THOUGH I DON'T HAVE MIND READING POWERS--YET! THAT'S YET I SAY---SO HELP YOU, I WILL EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEND YOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 
And JULIET, DON'T EVEN START CRYING ABOUT THAT FRIGGIN'-ASS C I GAVE YOU! YOU DESERVED IT FOR LAUGHING AT POOR DUNCAN WHO JUST DIDN'T KNOW THE MATERIAL KNOW MATTER HOW ANGRY IT MADE ME I STILL KNOW HE IS A POOR CHILD WHO LANDED AT OUR SCHOOL IN A TERRIBLE METEORITE AND HE DESERVES RESPECT AND LOVE!

YEAH YOU BET YOU'RE FALLING ON THE FLOOR IN DESPAIR AND IN TEARS! I HOPE YOU REALIZE WHAT YOU HAVE DONE! YOU GOT AN A+ BUT BECAUSE OF YOUR COMPLETE AND UTTER DISRESPECT TOWARDS DUNCAN, YOU RECEIVED A C! A C I SAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!!!!!!!!!! I NEED A FUDGE SUNDAE! STAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WITH EXTRA FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUDGE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

That's right, Duncan, she disrespected you, and now she will pay for it. She's punished. I punish her, like I punish EVERYONE! I punish people for just EXISTING IN MY AWESOME PRESENCE!

That's true, Duncan. You're my favorite student now, also I see my assistant understands that you are telling ME that we are best friends now. Juliet sucks. Also Juliet, Duncan wants to tell you that he hopes you feel better and can achieve better grades in the future and better conduct.


HAHA! TRA-LA-LA! A-GEE-GO-GO A-GEE-GA-GA! SERVES YOU RIGHT! AND DON'T THINK YOU CAN JUST WALK AWAY! DUNCAN IS JUST EXCHANGING A FRIENDLY-AND-NOT-TEASING-YOU-THAT-YOU-GOT-A-C-AND-ARE-MY-LEAST-FAVORITE-STUDENT-NOW-FACE-IN-ANY-WAY-AT-ALL SMILE! SO CUT OUT THE CRAP AND FILL IT IN WITH RASPBERRY JAM PIE! Uh-oh, now I want one. WAITER! WHIP CRACK! Okay, he's already running off with a bleeding ass. Oop, I can see the blood all over the floor, IN PUDDLES!

BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEECK!!!!!!! WHAT ARE YOU DOING SO CLOSE INTO THE CAMERA?! AND WHY ARE YOU SUDDENLY WALKING IN ON CLASS?! Were you SKIPPING?!

DON'T PLAY DUMB WITH MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!! WHAT WERE YOU DOING? EXPLAIN! EXPLAIN! EXPLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

ARIANA?! WHAT HAPPENED? WHAAAAAAAAAT HAAAAAAAAAAPPEEEEEEEEEEEEEENED?????????????!!!!!!!! Sorry about all my yelling, I was already boiling angry before this. It's my new students, you haven't met them yet, BECAUSE YOU SKIPPED MY CLASS!!! BECK, EXPLAIN, EXPLAIN, ONCE AGAIN, EXPLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Why are you laughing? You're laughing at ME?! AT MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE???????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Also, why were you crying? Was Beck, STALKING YOU AGAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAIN????????!!!!!!!!!! Was he trying to steal a kiss like he always is?

Okay, so that's it. You don't wanna tell me anything. ALRIGHT! BECK! WHAT THE FUDGEFADOODLECACA DID YOU DO?! EXPLAIN, EXPLAIN, EXPLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAI---- EGH-A-EGH-A-EGH-AEGH! CANNOT BREATHE! I NEED MY EXTRA HOT FUDGE SUNDAE MAGONGO ASAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAP!!!!!!!!! WHICH IN MY LANGUAGE IT MEANS RIGHT NOW OR YOU DIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIE!!!!!!!!!!

YOU IDIOT! THAT'S NOT WHAT I FREAKING ORDERED! YOU'RE DEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! HERE'S MY GUN! TASTE IT, YOU DEAD SUCKA! POOOOOOOOOOOOOOW!!!!!!! Phewgh! That mothersucker is dead, and even though I didn't order that brain-dead food that that brain-dead moron retrieved me, I'm still gonna eat cause it looks fresh and tasty. Besides, my other irresponsible-soon-to-be-dead waiter is gonna get my quadruple-fudge sundae with extra hot fudge on top. I'm so glad that idiot-ass is dead, his stupid face was so cringey-ass it made me wanna die and then come back to life and die all over again just to show how extra cringeworthy it was. FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUDGE ALEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEERT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
THAT BETTER BE MY QUADRUPLE-FUDGE SUNDAE WITH EXTRA HOT FUDGE ON TOP HIDDEN INSIDE OF THAT GREEN-ASS BOTTLE YOU MOTHERSUCKER!
Oh yeah it is. Trust me, that assistant is SO LUCKY that they didn't get me the wrong thing. It was just pure luck. I'm still gonna find a way to kill him later. OH MY GOD! LOOK AT THAT DELICIOUS-ASS FUDGE SUNDAE. YOU CAN'T EVEN SEE THE WHIPPED CREAM BECAUSE OF HOW MUCH FUDGE THERE IS TOPPLED ON THERE!!!!! HAH!
ALRIGHT, BECK! I'M READY TO DEAL WITH YA! GET YO CRINGEWORTHY BUTT-ASS OVER HERE!

GET OUT OF ARIANA'S WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!!!!!!!!!!!! SHE DOESN'T LOVE YOU AND SHE NEVER WILL! SHE'S DEVOTED TO ENRIQUE. Uh-oh, I think he died down there in the dungeon cause I left him down there with feces and parasites and all kinds of cringeworthy material that killed him and ended him. Too bad I didn't check on him in like a MILLION years. He was a nice guy. Oh, peesh, who am I kidding? He was a mothersucking, cringeworthy FREAK-ASS WHO TOOK ON SEVERAL OF MY NIECES WITHOUT PERMISSIOOOOOOOOON!!!!!!!! AND I STILL WOULDN'T HAVE GIVEN HIM IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIT!!!!!!!!!! I'm pretty sure Daddy Yankee and Hook couldn't live with him, he was literally cancer next door right in their jail cell. Besides, they probably got some terrible, unknown, uncurable disease and died down there and here's what I have to say about it: I, DON'T, CAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
OKAY! THIS CLASS IS OFFICIALLY OVER! AND YOU GUYS ARE DOING THE PRE-QUIZ NEXT CLASS ALONG WITH ANOTHER QUIZ SO GET READY!!! Phewgh! Class is over, and me gets another SUNDAE!