Class of magic!

Okay guys, today we are going to learn about Orcs. The ones who inhabit Middle Earth, I have a pet one named Lurtz. I just caught him and locked him up, he's still a bit unstable though. Actually, come to think of it. He's not an orc, he's actually an Uruk-hai. Can anyone tell me what an Uruk-hai is?


Yes, that is correct, Ally. The Uruk-hai are a race of Orcs created by Sauron late in the Third Age. These Uruk-hai are larger, smarter orcs with slanted eyes, thick legs, and large hands. Sauron created them to have strong armies during the battles of Middle Earth. Speaking of answering questions, where is Eleven? She never comes late for class.


Oh there you are! Eleven, where were you? Why did you come so late? What is going on here?



Oh NOW I see what's going on here! Come back here, young lady, you're not going anywhere! Just because Peter has a liking to you doesn't mean you have to reject him and think avoiding class is a way of keeping him out of your life. If you don't like him, I'll MAKE you like him. Get your ass over here and sit next to him, and from now on that will be your seat. Yes, it IS the same punishment as the one I gave you when Will was hitting on you. Don't you dare disrespect the other students, you hear me, Eleven Jane Millie Bobby Brown Ives?


Good, and stop being such a drama queen! Get in the seat now! Okay, continuing. Here is a diagram of the difference between an Orc and an Uruk-hai.


See? Yeah I know, they're ugly and you can't even take a glimpse at them. But just suck it up and get ready to meet the real thing. Yeah, that's right. I'm bringing in my pet uruk-hai, Lurtz.


See? Watch how he is coming out of the mud, that is how they were born during the age of Sauron's army. Anyway, I---- WHOOPS! I accidentally set it free! 


ARAGORN, GET AWAY FROM THERE! LURTZ IS UNSTABLE! EVERYBODY, RUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


I KNOW, I'M TRYING TO OPEN THE DOOR TOO! HELP, HEEEEEEEEEEEEEELP!!!!!!!!! WE'RE TRAPPED IN HERE WITH A CRAZY MONSTROSITY THAT IS TRYING TO END US!


YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ABOUT NOW WOULD BE A GREAT TIME TO OPEN THE DOOR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!



ARIANA, PUNCH IT!


YOU JUST MADE IT MADDER!!!!!!!

ENRIQUE, WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?! HOW DID YOU BREAK OUT OF JAIL?!



Wait, you killed him? That is just, I didn't expect that. You saved us all. AND YOU KILLED MY BELOVED URUK-HAI PET! OFF WITH YOUR HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAADDDDDDDD---------------- EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEGH!!!!!!!!! I NEED FOOD! LILITH!




Mmmmm, yummy, that's better. Enrique, you could have died. But instead, you chose to save us, to save ME, after everything I've done to you.


It's okay, Lurtz is dead now. He can't hurt us anymore. But let's pray that he's now in a better place.


Let me guess, you're talking about Ariana, aren't you?


Ariana, DON'T disrespect me! OR HIM!



YES! And the same with Camila, Britney, Gretchen, Jennifer, and Emma.





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Oh my God, what is it with you girls? I'm just trying to be nice to Enrique for once after all the bad stuff he had to go through with me! The least you pampered snobs can do is say sorry for how you treated him, I apologized and now you will. And by the way, this calls for a self-reward.






No you're NOT having any you complete plump-ass! Get out of here, I see you hold no respect for Enrique. Leave at once! This is MY cake! I earned it for apologizing to Enrique, which was VERY hard for me to do. It required a LOT of mental work. LEAVE! Okay they're gone, I'm good. Honestly, I HATE looking after these ungrateful stupid kids. They never respect each other, most importantly ME. They don't obey my commands and think it's fine to try and take my food for themselves. Goddamn it! Just get out of here too you lard ass! (Munch, munch). . . . . . .