AND WE ARE BACK!!!!!!

HEEEEEEEEEEEELLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THE NEW YEAR IS HERE, THE NEW DECAAAAAAAAAAAADE CAN YOU MOTHERFREAKING BELIEVE IIIIIIIIIIIIT????????????!!!! Hey there, personas, sorry that I was gone for so long. It was just some kind of unexpected emergency, I had to go to Sweets Land and have a short vacation, I was in desperate need of one because of how much pressure Quigley Duncan and his obsession with my drama queen niece Juliet, the frozen-ass cringey-ass breaking-and-entering trespasser Peter Parker, Gwen's great hatred against him, all those absolutely CRINGEY-ASS fiancees, Beck's repeated assault of Ariana and obsessive compulsive disorder of loving her, and so on and on and all these people gave me. I finally had a realization that I had to get away from these people before I was sucked into their cult and turned into dead meat fat-side up! And so, I spent the last two months in Sweet Land eating up sweets and NOT getting fat and extremely obese and diabetic. BECAUSE I CAN DO WHATEVER I WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Anyway, back to this. I'm back now! So everything's good, and just so you know, those assignments BETTER BE READY! They are due TODAY. And don't give me any crap-ass excuse about how you couldn't do it because your own teacher abandoned you and left you for months on end and you weren't sure whether they were okay or not. ASSIGNMEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEENTS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AND NO! YOU PILE OF POOP-DUNG-CACASON-FILLED CRAP-ASSES CRINGEY-ASSES CRINGEWORTHY MAKE-ME-WANNA-BLEACH-MY-EYES OUT POOP-ASSEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


THAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT'S RIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIGHT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! BECK! Did you do the assignment?

WHAT THE FLOOPAPOOPAFRICKFRIG IS THAT SUPPOSED TO MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAN????????!!!!!!!!!!!! YOU DON'T HAVE IIIIIIIIIIIIIIT????????????????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! MUTINY! MUTINY! MUUUUUUUTIIIIIIIIINYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

OH SO YOU THINK THIS IS SO FUNNY, ARIANA?! WELL YOU KNOW WHAT?! I WONDER IF YOU HAVE THE ASSIGNMENT READY TO TURN IN, YOUNG LADY, DO YOU, HUH, HUH, HUH, DOOOOOOOOO YOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOU???????????????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

YOU BET YOU'RE MAD! Also, confirming note, that is NOT me there she is looking at. LET'S MAKE THAT CLEAR!

Hahahahahaaaa!!! Beck is laughing at you!!!! Are you upset??? WELL IT SERVES YOU RIGHT!!!!! Alright, anyway, let's introduce our NEW STUDANTOS!!!!!!!!!!!!! That's not correct Spanish, but LET'S GET THIS GOING!!!!!!!!!!!! Here we have Jo Taylor! My too-distant-to-be-explained-in-words-and-simpler-terms-could-not-be-identified-for NIECE! That's right! Another one! Here she is! Welcome her everyone!

Look at her! She's so happy to be here! Ugh, and now I have to introduce her cringey-ass fiancee, DRAX!

OH EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEW!!!!!!!!!!! CRIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINGE!!!!!!!!!!! THE CRINGE IS UPON MEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!! I CAN TASTE IT, I CAN FEEL IT!!!!!!! BLEEEEEEEEACH!!!!!!!!! SOMEONE GET ME BLEEEEEEACH!!!!!!!! HE'S LAUGHING, HIS LAUGH IS SUCH A CRINGE, I NEED MY BLEACH TO CURE THE SEVERE CRINGE IN THE AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAIR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

What do you say, Jo? He is a Guardian of the Galaxy? WOW! Sure that is cool, but it would be even MORE awesome if he wasn't an absolute WORTHLESS, cringey, cringeworthy pile of godforsaken disgusting-ass cringey-ass FECES!!!!! No offense, Jo, but it's the truth. Plus, you're too pretty a girl for him. Honestly, you are an absolutely gorgeous beautiful angel-faced princess, and you're with THIS piece of poop cake with flies on the side?! It's actually sickening me and eating me from the inside. UUUUUUUUUUUGH!!!!!!!!!! Okay, NEXT! Here is DARCY!!!

Oh yeah, she is pretty scared. She just experienced a TERRIBLE portal to SHOW YOUR FOOT TO THE WORLD from New Mexico, and now she feels VERY SICK and is quite intimidated of me and everyone else because I might have maybe kinda sorta flogged her ass with my strong-ass whip because she vomitted all over me on the way here. Anyway, her fiancee is Fozzie the friggin'-ass BEAR! OH NO, HE'S A MUPPET! EEEEW, CRIIIIINGE!!!! 

DON'T YOU START BEING ALL STUPID AND SELFISH AND DISRESPECTFUL, FOZZIE! YOU WANTED TO BE IN THIS SCHOOL, YOU BETTER SHOW YOUR NEW TEACHER THE RESPECT YOUR NEW TEACHER DESERVES! GOT IT?! GOOOOOOOT IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Oh! I almost forgot! I accidentally put Jane into a deep sleep all this time when we were in one of our magic potion classes last year and put her into a deep trance of slumber for a WHOLE YEAR! ISN'T THAT FUNNY?! HAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!! YES IT'S FUNNY! IF YOU TRY TO SAY THAT IT IS NOT ONE MORE TIME! YOU WILL BE DOOOOOOOOOONE!!!!!!!!

Oh there she is! Hey Jane! Wait, what? You're freaking out, calm down, CALM DOOOOOOOOOOWN!!!!!!!!! You're saying that Loki is coming after you because you saw him in a vision of your deep dreams telling you that he was going to perform a forceful wedding ritual ceremony and force you to become his eternal Asgardian bride? I do NOT see the problem.

Oh look, Loki is right there.

JANE! What the heck?! Are you CRYING? Don't cry, otherwise you're gonna make ME cry, and when I cry that means things go south, and when things go south, that means I get wasted on big jumbo desserts like Vermonsters and Wawa food! HAHAAAAAAAAA!!!!

Oh look, Valkryie is here! I mean, Brunnhilde, SORRY! HAH! Ugh, ew, ANOTHER CRINGEY FIANCEE SUFFERING FROM CRINGEY-ITIS!

His name is Joey, AND LOOK! LOOK HOW STUPID HE IS! HE'S ALREADY CHOKED HIMSELF WITHOUT EVEN TRYING! HOW STUPID! MESSING UP ON HIS FIRST DAY OF SCHOOL! SERVES YOU RIGHT! I HOPE YOU CHOKED THE CRINGE OUT OF YOURSELF, YA BASTARD! Ugh, honestly, Brunnhilde, did you HAVE to pick this one? There are a million other AMAZING choices out there, and THIS is what you go with. In all honesty, I'm about to decide for you, I'm sorry, actually I'm not, I'm NEVER sorry, YOU should be sorry for choosing that worthless poop junk, and THIS is the guy you should go for, FANDRAL!

HE'S PERFECT FOR YOU, BRUNNHILDE!

DON'T YOU DARE USE THAT ZAPPER ON HIM, BRUNNHILDE! I SWEAR, IF YOU DO, WITH ME YOU WILL HAVE SUCH A PROBLEM, YOU PROBABLY WON'T WAKE UP FROM IT!

Yes, Fandral? Oh, are you talking about the all-powerful, Hope Mikaelson? Guys, this is the most AMAZING student yet! Welcome Hope! She transferred from her old stupid school Salvatore school which is the absolute STUPIDEST school EVER and does not compare one bit to the amazing, all-powerful SHOW YOUR FOOT TO THE WOOOOOOOOOOOOOORLD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I know, I see you thanking Fandral there for pointing you out and making you seem so amazing. Oh, and here's Landon, her fiancee. He's not as cringey as the others, who I know will be dead in a few weeks because it's not like I'm planning on killing them myself to get rid of them and their cringe out of my life forever. Anyway, it's not like that's that.

So anyway, that's all the students for now I think, if I can remember correctly, because if not I will behead you for not helping me remember that I had more amazing students to introduce.

Oh yeah, I COMPLETELY forgot Willie Scott, my famous distantly related niece! She is upset because she is mad at me for bringing her to this school and making her be a student here, also because she has to endure Indiana Jones, my new-ass assistant! And he has quite the liking to her.
OH EEEEEW!!!! And here's her cringely GRUESOME fiancee who is a little maharajah prince from the godforsaken cursed Pankot Palace who's name I show no interest in, so from now on we will refer to him as Maharajah. Disgusting, right? Cringey, right? Gruesome, right? Exactly, because all he cares about is seeing people get hurt in cringey, gruesome ways. HE'S SICK! Willie, one question, WHYYYYYYY????!!!!! UGH!!!! WHY ARE YOU FROZEN YOU STUPID MAGONGO-POOP-IDIOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOT??????!!!!!!!! Ugh, GOD! I've already had to go through TWO, no I think even THREE frozen people this year already, those types of students should just be decapitated--- HAHA! JUST KIDDING! But in all honesty, they really should be.

Okay, Indy says it's class time. He says he wants to start torturing you guys with lessons!

JO! WHAT KIND OF CATASTROPHIC OZONE-LEVEL RUDENESS IS THIS?!!!! And why is my absolutely STUPID assistant that will die in a second trying to comfort you???!!!!! THIS SCHOOOOOOOOL!!!!!!! THESE STUDEEEEEEEENTS!!!!!!!!!! THEY GET ON MY NEEEEEEEEEEEEEEERVES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (Pant, pant) Sorry, I got out of line there. These students just make so MAD, they're SO DISRESPECTFUL! ESPECIALLY THE GIRLS!!!!!

Just to clarify, that's YOU there, Jo.

Yes, I KNOW he's cringey, but deal with it! Cause Indy is gonna be helping me teach you ALL year long, and also, he is in love with you too, so DEAL WITH IT!

See? He's already DOING IT! OKAY I'M LEAVING BYE!!!!!!!