A fun blog for all to read! Note: This is a parody blog. No copyright infringement intended. All rights belong to their respective owners. This is all just for fun!
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- Forbidden Room
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- Cafeteria
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- Bedroom
- Magical Bookshop!
Monday, December 11, 2017
New students at Christmastime!
Hey, hey, hey. Whattup guys, I wanted to talk to you before I leave for my Official Christmas Vacation today. Remember I told you I was going on one 4 days after my pre-christmas vacation? Well, today is the day and my airplane flight is about to go so I just wanted to introduce you to some more extremely distant relatives I found in. . .guess where? PARIS, FRANCE! HAH! Wait till my best buddy Julien finds out these new students are from his home city! HAH! Sorry about those hyperventilated laughs I lash out from nowhere, I have problems. I'm sick. I take medicine for it. Forget what I just said. Okay, continuing. So, the first two are VERY cool. They are both superheroes and are always saving Paris from trouble and danger. I introduce you. . .LADYBUG AND CAT NOIR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!
There is Ladybug, but she is telling us to call her Marinette, she prefers that. Oh there she goes, changing her costume. Also, Cat Noir and Marinette's Kwamis: Tikki and Plagg, will also be students. Here they come, along with Cat Noir who prefers to be called Adrien.
Hey you stupid Cat Noir, stop winking at Marinette, you know she doesn't like you! Ugh, God.
And there he goes touching her without my permission. You lay another sausage on my aunt's fat friend's diabetic daughter's Hepatitis C neighbor's deceased great-grandma's ugly caretaker's pen pal's daughter, I will fry you alive in my oven! Sorry about all that violence there, guys, but it's the truth. Adrien is a smug person that acts fresh around others. Also, this is Plagg and Tikki. Plagg is trying to date Tikki but she despises him. Come out, Plagg and Tikki!
Aren't they just cute? I would like to tell you how they are related to me, but I don't think it's possible I will ever stop explaining the whole entire way that they are connected to me. It's WAY too long and not worth my time when I could be eating instead. WHOOPS! I completely forgot the most important one right before I force my waiters to transport me on a wheelchair all the way to the airport! There's one last student I invited, and she is Julien's unknown kid that he had with Gal Gadot. Don't ask how she is the same age, you don't want to know that one. Well, here she is! I introduce, Alizee!
Look, everyone, she's waving! Isn't she just pretty?
Oh no. What am I seeing here? RAMSES WAS RUNNING AWAY FROM THE 8 PLAGUES AND FELL DOWN AND BROKE HIS TOE AND SCREAMED IN PAIN AND MOSES TRIED TO HELP HIM BUT WAS TOO SCARED OF THE LOCUSTS SO HE CRASHLANDED ON ZIPPORAH WHO ROLLED WITH HIM ALL THE WAY INTO A HOLE AND THEY CALLED FOR HELP BUT NO ONE CAME AND THEY HAD TO GET OUT THEMSEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEELVES!!!!!!!!!!! Wow, that was the longest time I ever did something like that. But besides that, STAY AWAY FROM ALIZEE YOU STUPID ADRIEN! I even came up with a name for you because I hate you so much. It's Adrien + Idiot = Idiodrien or Adridiot! And plus, Alizee has a boyfriend, I'm sorry. His name is Chico but he is on a mission to the Galapagos right now and can't come, so from now on you leave Alizee be, you hear me Adrien? YOU HEAR ME?! Okay, I think you heard me. Now, I will have my assistant keep their eye on you at all times to make sure you don't try her or something while I'm gone, if you know what I mean. WHOOPS! Shouldn't have made that implication, SO GROSS! Okay, ASSISTANT!!!!!!!!!
Stop running so slow, you stupidass! You know you can run faster than that! Now hurry up, cause this bozo needs to be restrained and watched over.
Yes, that's RIGHT! I'm not stupid enough like everyone thinks I am to leave you here with Alizee, who's unguarded and unprotected. My assistant will make sure you're under his eye at all times, YOU GOT MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE?!!!!!!! And I don't care if you're pissed! Your fake love you're telling me about for Alizee is not real, it's only a grossom state of mind called infatuation! Okay, I gotta leave. My airplane flight is leaving. . .NOOOOOOOOOOW!!!!!! I'M MISSING IT! ASSISTAAAAAAAAANTS!!!!!!! HELP, HELP, HEEEEEEEEEEEEELP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'M GONNA MISS MY CHRISTMAS VACATION, NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!! BYE, GUYS! I'LL BE BACK SOON!
Tuesday, December 5, 2017
I'm returned!
HEY GUYS! It's me, your teacher! I'm finally back from my super long 2 month-long vacation. I also left because I didn't want to face Prince Zuko, I was too scared. But don't blame me, go call the teacher for help. Oh wait, I am the teacher. Well, besides that. I had an awesome time during my only-for-me trip. I went to SO many amazing places like Denmark, Hawaii, Disney World, Universal, etc. I even went to visit some family. They're actually pretty dysfunctional so I didn't stay for long, I hate them. It was like Around The World In 80 Days, HAH! I also got to see the Taj Mahal. And I went to see the legendary city of the tiny Makhunik people, and guess what? IT'S REAL! I should tell Ariana that her blood descends from such extraordinary little people. I even have some pictures of my vacay, wanna see? Here they are.
This one was one I took in Denmark, I took a shot of this particular landscape with the church because it was so beautiful it made me cry. So natural and filled of wilderness, just amazing. I stayed in the countryside because I hate cities, too much unnatural technology-filled dung there. No offense, Denmarken people. In fact, I even rode my big white horse that almost looked like a unicorn or Pegasus through these lands. Her name is Destiny. She's beautiful. She runs out in the meadows but I will never tell you where because I don't want you looking for her and trying to ride on her, you bastard. You don't deserve her! Here are the others I took from the other places I visited.
This is Hawaii.
Whoops, I don't even remember taking that one. But just to say, the coconut coladas they give you there? Oh my precious God Jehovah, they are outstanding! I ordered like five every time. Aw man, if only the stupid loads of dung I have as waiters here knew how to make coladas like these. But they don't know shit, so yeah.
This is Disney World of course, the Legend. I was taking this photo while the parade was going on. You should see Disney World during Christmas time, it's so magical!
Universal. I got a selfie of myself sampling two mega cups of butterbeer but I think I lost it. Too bad. Also, I took some pictures with my family but they were so rude they broke my camera because they didn't want me taking pictures of them. Assholes. Whatever, who needs them? I left shortly after that and framed them for a crime just to get the police over to their house to arrest them. I'm so glad I did that.
This is the Taj Mahal.
And last but not least, the most fascinating Makhunik city of Iranian dwarves. It's amazing. I loved it all. Well, that's all there is to it. I still have loads more but I don't have time to show them all. Anyways, this is most definitely not the last of my trips. I'm going on another one in two days, it's going to be my annual pre-Christmas vacation. What? No I'm not going to be patient for Winter Break, I do what I want, you freakin' godforsaken doofus! Besides, I'm also going on my OFFICIAL Christmas vacation four days after my return from my pre-Christmas vacation. So yeah, I'm really in my happy place right now. Now I gotta go rest for a couple of hours, I ate 10 chili dogs on that plane flight back here.
Thursday, October 26, 2017
Class time!
Hellooooo, guys. And WELCOME BACK TO SHOW YOUR FOOT TO THE WORLD! Today we will be moving on in our magical class and learning about even more cooler things. But before we do, there are a couple of too-long-to-mention-how-they-are-related-to-me relatives coming over to join SHOW YOUR FOOT TO THE WORLD, and a new assistant. What? You're asking why this school keeps getting so many new assistants? WELL MAYBE BECAUSE I WANT MORE PEOPLE AROUND ME SO THEY CAN BRING ME HOT TASTY FOOD YOU DUMB-AS-HELL ASSHOLE! Sorry, again, it's my high blood pressure. SHUP, SHUP! So, I introduce you my--- well, my relative, Wonder Woman!
Isn't she just dainty? Oh, and she's telling us right now that she prefers to be called Diana. Wonder Woman is just her stage name. Also, did you know her full name is Diana-Gal Gadot? It's a funny name. Also, don't tell her this, but remember my French friend Julien who runs that amazingly accurate informational blog called juliensfunnyblog.blogspot.com? He likes her and has a teeny-meeny meak tiny weak obsession with her and takes pictures of her without her knowing and put a tiny microscopic camera in her shower head and watches through the window when she is changing. So don't get alarmed, it's all fine. He can't be any worse than Enrique, am I right, my friends? Okay, continuing! And this is James, her boyfriend who is also coming here to learn. He doesn't like to be called James, he prefers Kirk, so call him Kirk. Meet Kirk!
Ugh, he's an uggo. No wonder Julien doesn't like him. Oh no, I think it's because of the other reason that has to do with Dia---- YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!! I DID NOT JUST SAY THAT! But anyways, that's him and he seems to be looking at my FOOOOOOOOOOOOD!!!!!!!! DO NOT EAT, STAY AWAY STUPID-AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAASS!!!!!!!!!!! Okay, and the new assistant is here!
Look, he's saying hello and his name is Wilbur but he prefers the nickname Coo. I know what you are thinking: why is everyone wanting to be called a different name? Well SHUT UP! Because I don't have the freaking answer to that. Oh, look, Muspelheim is coming in.
Oh no, Muspelheim. You got it confused. We're not doing Potions today. We're doing Beasts, you should take the book out.
No, NO! Coo you totally CANNOT be with Muspelheim, she has a boyfriend waiting for her back in Bolivia. You can't possibly like her, she's not even in your league, don't you DARE get near her you kleptomaniac! You don't deserve her! She's above you and you're just some disgusting loathsome fool that works as a low assistant! I swear to God, if you even try to----
HE TURNED OFF THE LIGHT! OH NO! NOW I CAN'T SEE! HE'S GONNA GO AFTER MUSPELHEIM! SOMEONE STOP HIM! I CAN'T SEE, I CAN'T--- CRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAASH!!!!!!!!!!!!! OW! I CAN'T GET UP! I FELL INTO SOMETHING! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!! HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEELP!!!!!!!!!!!! YOU FRIGGING TURN THE LIGHT BACK ON YOU STUPID BASTARD! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
FINALLY! The light is back on. And YES, you ARE crazy. And stop annoying my assistant, Lewis. He had nothing to do with this awful disaster of yours! Now, leave Muspelheim alone and start doing your job you godforsaken fat mole! Start passing around the books! Jesus was doing gymnastics and flipping and crashed into Isaiah and gave him a concussion! Okay, so let's start class. Last time we learned about Grindylows and Merpeople, which didn't exactly turn out too well. Today we will move on to learning about Werewolves and Unicorns. So Werewolf is the title of the legendary creature that howls at midnight when the full moon comes up on Halloween night. Can anyone tell me what the name Werewolf means?
Very good, Hermione. Werewolf means half-man half-wolf. 'Were' actually means half-man, I think. And Werewolves are very scary and dangerous you know. They attack you if threatened, and even if not they will. I actually have one locked up in my forbidden wardrobe that I never open, along with my Boggart, which we will get to later. And what happens to the werewolf's mind when it transforms?
Yes, that's right, Muspelheim. The werewolf loses its mind and all memory of who it was before, and it might even kill his best friend. What are pointing at there? Oh, a picture of a werewolf? Oh let's see it then!
Nice picture! Wait, you say it's not a picture but an actual photograph you took of a werewolf when you were on an expedition to through the Dark Mountains and you managed to catch a photo before it jumped at you and tackled you to the ground? And you survived all that? WOW! I never knew that, Muspelheim. You're an amazing brave courageous person! I could NEVER do that in my life. If I went and tried to release my unstable pet werewolf from its prison right now, it would instantly maul at me faster than you could say "banana split sundae with fudge dripping down the sides and strawberries on top" and I would slump to the floor dead. Oh God, why do I have to say these kinds of things? Now I'm hungry!
What? You say you had to run ten miles and it wouldn't stop chasing you until you got to a cliff and you had no other choice but to jump off and you tried to use your flying skills but you fell and your boyfriend Leonard who already got down before you caught you and then you guys rode off in your van? Wowy-wow-wow, that is cooler than COOL! Someone get me that banana split sundae I mentioned earlier, NOW! I gotta calm my nerves, this story was so NERVE-WRACKING! GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Hurry up, you stupid! We haven't got all day, I have a stupid-ass meeting to attend after this and even though I don't wanna get up from my fat lazy anus to go, I HAVE to. SO HURRY UP! BRING ME MY FOOD, YOU SCHMUCK!
No thanks to you, you despicable dumb-ass cretin! GET OUT! I HATE YOU! Okay, he's gone. Honestly, the idea. Why are all these waiters so freaking damn slow? Well anyways, that was so amazing, Muspelheim. Right, guys?
Yeah, we GOT it, Coo. Muspelheim is your dream angel babe, but does it look like I care? NO! So shut up and get back to work, you crazy cuckoo imbecile! So, anyway, Werewolves also have other dangerous things about them. They are usually very large and can tower over for even more than 15 feet tall. They also have many sharp rows of razor sharp teeth and fangs that will crush your bones to dust the SECOND it gets a hold of you! And it makes a sound just like this: CHOMP! And then it howls to the full moon, AWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO--------
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!! (COUGH! COUGH!) WHAT THE--- (COUGH, COUGH!) ANOTHER EXPLOSION?! HOW MANY TIMES IS SHOW YOUR FOOT TO THE WORLD GONNA BE HARASSED BY A HUGE FIRE EXPLOSION AND THEN LET ME GUESS! SOMEONE UNKNOWN IS GONNA WALK RIGHT OUT OF IT! GARRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
What the--- who is that hiding in the fire? They made this explosion themselves? Oh no, is it what I think it is? Do they have fire powers?
Yue, are you okay? What? What did you say? What are you trying to tell me? You say you have a warning for me?
Who is that? WHO IS THAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT????????????????!!!!!!!!!!!! THIS MEANS A WHOLE CAKE FOR ME! DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!! What? You think I was kidding? I literally mean it. GET ME A CAKE! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! While you're at it, let me do my usual interrogating. WHO ARE YOU AND WHERE HAVE YOU COME FROM?!
First of all, that's not me there like always. Second, you're telling me that THAT right there is the person you and Katara, Sokka, and Aang all warned me about? HE'S the big threat? AHAHA! AHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'm crying! HAH! Wait, you're serious? Oh no, then who is he here for?
Wait, no, NOT MUSPELHEIM! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! NOT HER, PLEASE, NO, I BEG YOU GOD, NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! HELP, HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEELP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Diana, this is NOT the right time! This person is an impostor, also he tells me his name is Prince Zuko of the Fire Nation world and he is here to kidnap Muspelheim and force her to become his eternal bride. BUT I WON'T LET HIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
SOMEONE! GET HIM BEFORE HE TAKES MUSPELHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEIM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! EVERYBODY EVACUAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAATE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
WHAT?! THE EVACUATION ELEVATOR ISN'T WORKIIIIIIIIIIIIIING??????????!!!!!!!!!!! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Good idea, Ariana. Call someone using the microphone! GIVE ME THAT THIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! HELP, HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEELP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
JACK, WAIT, NO, DON'T DO THAT! HE'S AN UNSTABLE FREAK, HE WILL KILL YOOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! RUN INTO THE SANCTUARY ROOM! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
ALRIGHT, ALRIGHT! NOW CLOSE THE DAMN DOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORS!!!!!!!!!!!! Phewgh! That was close. Wait a crap, where is Muspelheim? OH NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WE LEFT HER OUT THEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEERE!!!!!!!!!!! BUT I CAN'T GET OUT, I CAN'T! SOMEONE CALL 91111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111!!!!!!!!!!!! I mean 911. That's what I meant. OKAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Isn't she just dainty? Oh, and she's telling us right now that she prefers to be called Diana. Wonder Woman is just her stage name. Also, did you know her full name is Diana-Gal Gadot? It's a funny name. Also, don't tell her this, but remember my French friend Julien who runs that amazingly accurate informational blog called juliensfunnyblog.blogspot.com? He likes her and has a teeny-meeny meak tiny weak obsession with her and takes pictures of her without her knowing and put a tiny microscopic camera in her shower head and watches through the window when she is changing. So don't get alarmed, it's all fine. He can't be any worse than Enrique, am I right, my friends? Okay, continuing! And this is James, her boyfriend who is also coming here to learn. He doesn't like to be called James, he prefers Kirk, so call him Kirk. Meet Kirk!
Ugh, he's an uggo. No wonder Julien doesn't like him. Oh no, I think it's because of the other reason that has to do with Dia---- YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!! I DID NOT JUST SAY THAT! But anyways, that's him and he seems to be looking at my FOOOOOOOOOOOOD!!!!!!!! DO NOT EAT, STAY AWAY STUPID-AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAASS!!!!!!!!!!! Okay, and the new assistant is here!
Look, he's saying hello and his name is Wilbur but he prefers the nickname Coo. I know what you are thinking: why is everyone wanting to be called a different name? Well SHUT UP! Because I don't have the freaking answer to that. Oh, look, Muspelheim is coming in.
Oh no, Muspelheim. You got it confused. We're not doing Potions today. We're doing Beasts, you should take the book out.
No, NO! Coo you totally CANNOT be with Muspelheim, she has a boyfriend waiting for her back in Bolivia. You can't possibly like her, she's not even in your league, don't you DARE get near her you kleptomaniac! You don't deserve her! She's above you and you're just some disgusting loathsome fool that works as a low assistant! I swear to God, if you even try to----
HE TURNED OFF THE LIGHT! OH NO! NOW I CAN'T SEE! HE'S GONNA GO AFTER MUSPELHEIM! SOMEONE STOP HIM! I CAN'T SEE, I CAN'T--- CRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAASH!!!!!!!!!!!!! OW! I CAN'T GET UP! I FELL INTO SOMETHING! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!! HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEELP!!!!!!!!!!!! YOU FRIGGING TURN THE LIGHT BACK ON YOU STUPID BASTARD! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
FINALLY! The light is back on. And YES, you ARE crazy. And stop annoying my assistant, Lewis. He had nothing to do with this awful disaster of yours! Now, leave Muspelheim alone and start doing your job you godforsaken fat mole! Start passing around the books! Jesus was doing gymnastics and flipping and crashed into Isaiah and gave him a concussion! Okay, so let's start class. Last time we learned about Grindylows and Merpeople, which didn't exactly turn out too well. Today we will move on to learning about Werewolves and Unicorns. So Werewolf is the title of the legendary creature that howls at midnight when the full moon comes up on Halloween night. Can anyone tell me what the name Werewolf means?
Very good, Hermione. Werewolf means half-man half-wolf. 'Were' actually means half-man, I think. And Werewolves are very scary and dangerous you know. They attack you if threatened, and even if not they will. I actually have one locked up in my forbidden wardrobe that I never open, along with my Boggart, which we will get to later. And what happens to the werewolf's mind when it transforms?
Yes, that's right, Muspelheim. The werewolf loses its mind and all memory of who it was before, and it might even kill his best friend. What are pointing at there? Oh, a picture of a werewolf? Oh let's see it then!
Nice picture! Wait, you say it's not a picture but an actual photograph you took of a werewolf when you were on an expedition to through the Dark Mountains and you managed to catch a photo before it jumped at you and tackled you to the ground? And you survived all that? WOW! I never knew that, Muspelheim. You're an amazing brave courageous person! I could NEVER do that in my life. If I went and tried to release my unstable pet werewolf from its prison right now, it would instantly maul at me faster than you could say "banana split sundae with fudge dripping down the sides and strawberries on top" and I would slump to the floor dead. Oh God, why do I have to say these kinds of things? Now I'm hungry!
What? You say you had to run ten miles and it wouldn't stop chasing you until you got to a cliff and you had no other choice but to jump off and you tried to use your flying skills but you fell and your boyfriend Leonard who already got down before you caught you and then you guys rode off in your van? Wowy-wow-wow, that is cooler than COOL! Someone get me that banana split sundae I mentioned earlier, NOW! I gotta calm my nerves, this story was so NERVE-WRACKING! GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Hurry up, you stupid! We haven't got all day, I have a stupid-ass meeting to attend after this and even though I don't wanna get up from my fat lazy anus to go, I HAVE to. SO HURRY UP! BRING ME MY FOOD, YOU SCHMUCK!
No thanks to you, you despicable dumb-ass cretin! GET OUT! I HATE YOU! Okay, he's gone. Honestly, the idea. Why are all these waiters so freaking damn slow? Well anyways, that was so amazing, Muspelheim. Right, guys?
Yeah, we GOT it, Coo. Muspelheim is your dream angel babe, but does it look like I care? NO! So shut up and get back to work, you crazy cuckoo imbecile! So, anyway, Werewolves also have other dangerous things about them. They are usually very large and can tower over for even more than 15 feet tall. They also have many sharp rows of razor sharp teeth and fangs that will crush your bones to dust the SECOND it gets a hold of you! And it makes a sound just like this: CHOMP! And then it howls to the full moon, AWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO--------
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!! (COUGH! COUGH!) WHAT THE--- (COUGH, COUGH!) ANOTHER EXPLOSION?! HOW MANY TIMES IS SHOW YOUR FOOT TO THE WORLD GONNA BE HARASSED BY A HUGE FIRE EXPLOSION AND THEN LET ME GUESS! SOMEONE UNKNOWN IS GONNA WALK RIGHT OUT OF IT! GARRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
What the--- who is that hiding in the fire? They made this explosion themselves? Oh no, is it what I think it is? Do they have fire powers?
Yue, are you okay? What? What did you say? What are you trying to tell me? You say you have a warning for me?
Who is that? WHO IS THAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT????????????????!!!!!!!!!!!! THIS MEANS A WHOLE CAKE FOR ME! DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!! What? You think I was kidding? I literally mean it. GET ME A CAKE! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! While you're at it, let me do my usual interrogating. WHO ARE YOU AND WHERE HAVE YOU COME FROM?!
First of all, that's not me there like always. Second, you're telling me that THAT right there is the person you and Katara, Sokka, and Aang all warned me about? HE'S the big threat? AHAHA! AHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'm crying! HAH! Wait, you're serious? Oh no, then who is he here for?
Wait, no, NOT MUSPELHEIM! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! NOT HER, PLEASE, NO, I BEG YOU GOD, NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! HELP, HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEELP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Diana, this is NOT the right time! This person is an impostor, also he tells me his name is Prince Zuko of the Fire Nation world and he is here to kidnap Muspelheim and force her to become his eternal bride. BUT I WON'T LET HIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
SOMEONE! GET HIM BEFORE HE TAKES MUSPELHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEIM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! EVERYBODY EVACUAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAATE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
WHAT?! THE EVACUATION ELEVATOR ISN'T WORKIIIIIIIIIIIIIING??????????!!!!!!!!!!! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Good idea, Ariana. Call someone using the microphone! GIVE ME THAT THIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! HELP, HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEELP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
JACK, WAIT, NO, DON'T DO THAT! HE'S AN UNSTABLE FREAK, HE WILL KILL YOOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! RUN INTO THE SANCTUARY ROOM! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
ALRIGHT, ALRIGHT! NOW CLOSE THE DAMN DOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORS!!!!!!!!!!!! Phewgh! That was close. Wait a crap, where is Muspelheim? OH NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WE LEFT HER OUT THEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEERE!!!!!!!!!!! BUT I CAN'T GET OUT, I CAN'T! SOMEONE CALL 91111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111!!!!!!!!!!!! I mean 911. That's what I meant. OKAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Monday, October 23, 2017
Flying Class
Okay, I just got a medical appointment and I'm back from it. They say that thing that almost ended my life in the Room of Requirement didn't do much damage, just a couple of cuts and scratches. Heh! What a stupid pet that you actually consider a terrifying demon! He thinks that's a match against me and my SHOW YOUR FOOT TO THE WORLD beasts and creatures? Wait till he meets the Demogorgon. Actually wait, no that's not good. Forget I ever said that students, FORGET IT! THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS A DEMOGORGON AND IT'S NOT LIKE I'M HIDING SOMETHING FROM YOU AND YOU DON'T KNOW!
You're right, Blue. Except I'M the one who should be saying that. Please don't tell anyone else, since you're the only one here right now. Also, don't go looking for the Demogorgon, and DON'T whatsoever go into the Forbidden Room. Whoops, damn it! I just said the location! Just please, whatever you do don't go there. It is SOOOO dangerous. Now, everybody line up. Today we are going to have Flying Class, which we haven't had in OH so long. Blue, since she came first, will demonstrate, and since she is a fairy, I'm pretty sure she will get straight A's in this class. Get it? Fairy? Wings? Flying class? Ugh, whatever. You're lame. Get out of my face, asshole. Alright, Blue. Show us how to do the Plie. Pronounced - (PLEE-EH). The Plie is a very difficult flying position to master. All the requirements to do it perfectly are: stand straight and tall, legs straight, arms straight down, and chin up. Here is a diagram of it.
See how crystal clearly she does it? Now YOU guys try it!
What Soren? You say you're too frightened? YOU'RE A WHOOP-DAMN OWL! Sorry, got too emotional there, but seriously, you're an owl, Soren. How hard can it be? Can someone please pluck up the courage to volunteer and show Soren how incredibly easy it is to do the Plie once you get the hang of it? Especially if you have wings?
WOW! Good job, Gylfie. You are doing the Plie so well! Thank you so much for showing Soren here the way to do it. And look! He's even flying with you!
Oh look, and I can see Kludd doing his Plie perfectly over there too. You guys are going to do AWESOME on the Flight Test. I daresay I might even give you early A+'s. You guys are so good! Okay, so now that we have done the Plie and the rest of you who don't have wings will find it very difficult to achieve, we will fill in our work on the Plie later. Right now, we will focus on the Releve. Pronounced (REH-LEAVE). Basically it's pronounced like 'relieve'. Get it? GET IT? I guess you do. Now. The Releve is a crazy position, not as crazy as the Wendiyo, which we will eventually get to. This Releve allows you to fly away fast as nuts! This is the position for it: arms apart, legs together, stand up straight, and chin forward not up, REMEMBER THAT! It's kinda like the cross, that will help you remember. Okay, here is the diagram.
Okay, she stopped moving. Now look at her, do you see how straight she is and how accurate her position is to the position itself? Good. Now I want someone other than the owls to do this one. Someone who is willing to risk it and jump off the magical cloud. How about Jim?
AWESOME, JIM! That's great! You're doing the position exactly the way you should, except you are plunging down the wrong way. Oh no, you're falling down! Nah whatever, I don't wanna get up anyway. Who cares what happens to him? I'll just order one of my assistants to go catch him, even though they might get crushed to death themselves, since Jim definitely does not weigh any less than 140. Now my other assistant here will show you the classic Peter Pan style of flying, HAH! How funny, two of my students are Peter! HAH! Okay assistant, get your chubabupup fat-ass out here and start flying it up!
See? Look how graceful he looks in the air, oh and in no way is this meant to be nice to you assistant because I DO NOT WASTE MY NICENESS ON ASSISTANTS! NOW STOP FLYING THAT STUPID POSITION AND GET OUT OF THE SKY! MAKE SPACE FOR THE OTHERS! (BLAST!) Okay, I blasted him down with one of my guns, we should be good now. Anyone want to try?
It's gonna help by helping you learn how to fly so you can save yourself in extreme conditions you stupid! How many times do I have to repeat myself in order to make sure you're paying attention to the class, you fat duck?! Now since you disrespected me like you love to do, you're going to have to do it even though you're an assistant and not a student. Honestly, you remind me so much of Will because you look like him and you act like an idiot like him!
Ooh, nice moves in the air, Jackson. BUT NO! I shouldn't be complimenting you, LEAVE THE SKY AT ONCE! (BLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAST!)
Sorry if I blasted you right into Stephanie and some--- WHO THE BOOBEEP-DAMN IS THAT?! GET HIM OUT AT ONCE! AND NO FOOD ALLOWED! ONLY I CAN EAT DURING CLASS, HOW MANY TIMES DOES THAT NEED TO BE MENTIOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONED?! Okay, I see you guys can't cooperate in the moment. You want to do this the easy way or the hard way? I'm taking out my whip right now and that is the hard way. The easy way is listening to me and doing things the right way. Flying is very important to know because you're not always going to be able to save yourself from disasters by running or driving away. Also, respect me, because no other school in the whole wide world teaches flying except SHOW YOUR FOOT TO THE WORLD! We have so many fun subjects and you guys are humiliating me and disrespecting me, please stop. Now get your butts moving because we have another class coming up after this one! SHUP-SHUP!
Okay, everything looks good there except this diagram fails to show the chin-up part. Well anyway, you get the idea. Now Blue will demonstrate it. Watch her, guys!
See how crystal clearly she does it? Now YOU guys try it!
What Soren? You say you're too frightened? YOU'RE A WHOOP-DAMN OWL! Sorry, got too emotional there, but seriously, you're an owl, Soren. How hard can it be? Can someone please pluck up the courage to volunteer and show Soren how incredibly easy it is to do the Plie once you get the hang of it? Especially if you have wings?
WOW! Good job, Gylfie. You are doing the Plie so well! Thank you so much for showing Soren here the way to do it. And look! He's even flying with you!
Oh look, and I can see Kludd doing his Plie perfectly over there too. You guys are going to do AWESOME on the Flight Test. I daresay I might even give you early A+'s. You guys are so good! Okay, so now that we have done the Plie and the rest of you who don't have wings will find it very difficult to achieve, we will fill in our work on the Plie later. Right now, we will focus on the Releve. Pronounced (REH-LEAVE). Basically it's pronounced like 'relieve'. Get it? GET IT? I guess you do. Now. The Releve is a crazy position, not as crazy as the Wendiyo, which we will eventually get to. This Releve allows you to fly away fast as nuts! This is the position for it: arms apart, legs together, stand up straight, and chin forward not up, REMEMBER THAT! It's kinda like the cross, that will help you remember. Okay, here is the diagram.
Okay, she stopped moving. Now look at her, do you see how straight she is and how accurate her position is to the position itself? Good. Now I want someone other than the owls to do this one. Someone who is willing to risk it and jump off the magical cloud. How about Jim?
AWESOME, JIM! That's great! You're doing the position exactly the way you should, except you are plunging down the wrong way. Oh no, you're falling down! Nah whatever, I don't wanna get up anyway. Who cares what happens to him? I'll just order one of my assistants to go catch him, even though they might get crushed to death themselves, since Jim definitely does not weigh any less than 140. Now my other assistant here will show you the classic Peter Pan style of flying, HAH! How funny, two of my students are Peter! HAH! Okay assistant, get your chubabupup fat-ass out here and start flying it up!
See? Look how graceful he looks in the air, oh and in no way is this meant to be nice to you assistant because I DO NOT WASTE MY NICENESS ON ASSISTANTS! NOW STOP FLYING THAT STUPID POSITION AND GET OUT OF THE SKY! MAKE SPACE FOR THE OTHERS! (BLAST!) Okay, I blasted him down with one of my guns, we should be good now. Anyone want to try?
It's gonna help by helping you learn how to fly so you can save yourself in extreme conditions you stupid! How many times do I have to repeat myself in order to make sure you're paying attention to the class, you fat duck?! Now since you disrespected me like you love to do, you're going to have to do it even though you're an assistant and not a student. Honestly, you remind me so much of Will because you look like him and you act like an idiot like him!
Ooh, nice moves in the air, Jackson. BUT NO! I shouldn't be complimenting you, LEAVE THE SKY AT ONCE! (BLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAST!)
Sorry if I blasted you right into Stephanie and some--- WHO THE BOOBEEP-DAMN IS THAT?! GET HIM OUT AT ONCE! AND NO FOOD ALLOWED! ONLY I CAN EAT DURING CLASS, HOW MANY TIMES DOES THAT NEED TO BE MENTIOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONED?! Okay, I see you guys can't cooperate in the moment. You want to do this the easy way or the hard way? I'm taking out my whip right now and that is the hard way. The easy way is listening to me and doing things the right way. Flying is very important to know because you're not always going to be able to save yourself from disasters by running or driving away. Also, respect me, because no other school in the whole wide world teaches flying except SHOW YOUR FOOT TO THE WORLD! We have so many fun subjects and you guys are humiliating me and disrespecting me, please stop. Now get your butts moving because we have another class coming up after this one! SHUP-SHUP!
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